I just got back from Iraq, and found out my wife cheated on me, not the whole time, just the last month I was there, and from what she has said, and I have seen it was nota relationship, just a few bad mistakes. She is very remoursfull, and knows she was wrong, and feels horrible with herself for what she did to me. I love her, and she is moving out till she can clear up her thoughts, she can't except my forgivness till she forgive herself she says, and I know her and believe this. I told her, as long as she uses this time to really think, and not go out to be stupid and make more mistakes, then I will consider working it out. The part that is hurting me is, the qustions of what she did with him, she told me she did no more with him then she ever did with me, as a matter of fact she said she has done a lot more with me. I just wonder if she enjoyed it more, was she relaxed enough to cum? I asked her tonight if she ever faked it with me, she said no very quick, and was firm, so I believe her. I supose it is just the jeolusy factor, has anyone on here expeirenced something similiar, and how long till the jeolusy went away. I don't want to ask her to reply the events, I don't think that would be good for either one of us. And thanks to all the people out there who want to make me feel better, but I don't need anyone calling her any names. so I thank you for your respect in that matter.
just wanted to add that she told me the first day back, and I don't feel there has been any deception
Mhhhh, this is a tough one. The only thing I can say is that you're dealing with the problem perfectly, I think it's great that you're taking some time off to think things through. The main problem I think, it's not the "I forgive you" and "I forgive myself" part, that's easy, especially when you're still in love with her, the toughest part will be regaining the trust, THE TRUST. That's all I can say, don't worry, there will be plenty of people here willing to help you out, much more experienced than me. Good luck, and have patience. PS: Make love, not war.
consider couples counselling, it may help you two out i think its commendable taht youre willing to give her another try... i hope things work out for you two. but itll take a lot of time and effort on both of your parts to regain even a quarter of the trust you used to have
I'm a Marine so I understand the long term ordeal with out see your family and friend, and the thoughts one might have. I haven't been in this position but I'll just tell you what I think. It does seem that she had your best interest in mind and that it was just something that shouldn't have happened. The best thing was that she told you when you got home and not out there because if she did then it would seem like she was just throwing it in your face. And not to mention everything that goes on over seas and to put that on a person is just wrong, but she didn't do that which is good. The jealousy factor/thoughts should go away in time, just don’t dwell on that so YOU can move on. (Remember what your thinking is something that either didn’t happen or you’re just over thinking it) As Illidan said trust is what you need, it’s the alpha and omega of every couple. The best thing I can say is don't go back to a relationships just because you love that person, you have to trust the one you love in order for it to work. I know LOVE isn't just something you can turn off but if you can't find that trust that you had for her, then it maybe a hard road trying to turn off the love had. Hope everything works out for the best and be safe out there at home. Remember you just made it back from somewhere people only dream about in their nightmares, and you need to lose your life now that your home.
She said she was not ready to go to counseling, so I ended up going alone for 2 sessions, I don't feel I need to go anymore, I know where I need to be in that respect. I don't plan on going out and doing anything stupid, even though I am going to Vegas for 3 weeks for work early in Oct. She is going to consider going to counselling by herself, she needs to work out her issues before we can even start to work out "ours". I have accepted what she did, and by no means I am I in denial, it is just the jelousy part that I am having a bit of an issue with, plus after a long time of no sex, I am very attracted to her, that goes without saying. I am working on getting orders now, back to a real town, I am in a one horse town in the south and that aint cutting it. The way I fiqure, if she wants to get with me, and is willing to travel, that will say a lot. I know time will heal a lot of what I am feeling, and I hope the TDY will be a nice distraction.
I can assure you the jealousy NEVER goes away. The trust is never there again. Every thing she does, you will wonder. Every time you leave or she leaves you will wonder. To tell you the truth, unless you have kids I would just break it off. It will probably happen either way, due to the whole trust thing. Take the emotional toll all at once and end it unless you have a family to think about. Ask yourself how it is that she will say she loves you so much now that she'll never do it again but that love wasn't there last time.
She's moving out so she can continue fucking the dude without running the risk of getting caught. When her new fling fizzles out, she'll come back to use you for financial/emotional support. Fuck that bitch. She couldn't wait for you? She knew you'd be home in a few weeks, and then went belly up on her will power? In fact, fuck that. If she even has to WILL herself not to cheat on you, then she's not the chick you want anyway. Find someone faithful and honest. If I was you I'd be fucken PISSED OFF. You were out there, getting SHOT at, having things BLOW UP around you, people around you DYING, dancing with DEATH yourself... and she fucks some other dude? Whoa boy dude... drop her like a hot potato.
been there, done that. I was in the army when it happened to me. This will not be an easy road and it will be very difficult for both of you. Love isn't always 50/50. Sometimes it 96/4. Ask yourself if you are will to be the 96% person in this relationship right now and perhaps for quite a while. Talk to your unit commander or senior NCO or even team leader to let them know you are having some issues with your marriage too, they are usually quite cool with helping out when you need it, at least they were when I was in. Oh and Thanks for you service man, from one vet to another.
It's hell on both sides of the fence. I manged to do it why didn't my ex. He did to why couldn't she. At least she told you bro, I had to find out through my brother and her friends.
Yea I agree with J.I. You were alone too. And you were being shot out. Oh but poor her? Fuck that noise.
