smoke that flows from the silence helplessness dominates my last thoughts regretting mistakes and wrong decisions sobbingly uncontrolled by these raw emotions raising this death bringer to my skull rage that attacks pillaring out from deep within taught to self restrain locked until now lost hoplessly alone to the world
Jack, this is very good work, clever. When I first read these three lines: ...these raw emotions raising this death bringer to my skull rage that attacks pillaring out from deep within I read it as "raises" instead of raising and I got an image of rage raising the "death bringer" - rage as the attacker - the writer taking a step backward outside of the poem... the rage or raw emotions taking the action for the person no longer in control. I like pillaring out - that's very original. Thanks for sharing.
Yes, I did that too! That's the "clever" part of my comments to you. I did like this very much. Vetty
