I came out as a lesbian at the end of last year. My first crush EVER was on a girl. My first love was a girl. All of my relationships have been with girls. My most potent crush ever was on a girl. I got hit hard by the last girl I was with; in addition to breaking up with her, I was discovering that I was not bisexual, as I had previously thought, but rather a full-on dyke. AND my mother, who doesn't yet know, was picking at me to come out to her, so she could launch her anti-gay attack. Now, for the first time in a long while, I actually feel READY to get back in the game, but I'm actually not attracted to anyone: I don't know ANYONE I'd want to date at the moment. This, most irrationally, has lead me to question the validity of my sexuality. I think the fact that I don't question my sexuality when I'm in a relationship is indicative of the fact that nothing has actually changed, and I'm still good-old-lesbian-me. But I find girly-looking men attractive. Not attractive as in I'm attracted to them, but I think they can be quite pretty. If that makes sense. And sometimes I wonder about this, but I doubt it changes my lesbian status, because I can envision relationships, sexual and/or emotional with women, which I can't do with men. So after ALL of that, 3 questions: 1. Do you guys ever notice an attractive man (if not wanting to sleep with him/ rush into a relationship with him)? 2. Am I turning "prison straight", the way people in prison can turn "prison gay"? Is my sex drive shifting into survival mode, because I haven't been in a relationship for a while? Is it reaching out to anyone in desperation, even if I'm not actually interested? 3. Can anyone else relate?
Hey. Ok don't worry, this all sounds normal to me. Though I consider myself gay, yes I do sometimes notice attractive bloke. As for not being attracted to anyone, we all go phases of that. So don't worry
I'd say you were normal too I still find men attractive, the same way straight women might find other women pretty, In fact I saw a man a few weeks ago who I thought was possibly one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen. I just don't find men attractive sexually or want to have a relationship with them. Don't worry about late replies by the way, there just aren't as many people on the lesbian forum as the others.
Haha, alright. Thanks, everyone. I seem to have gotten out of that little trough, and it's good to know that I wasn't just me.
your prison analogy is quite interesting. I never thought of it that way. heh. but yes, I get the same way when I haven't been a relationship in a while. My sex drive's high, so I pretty much notice the beauty of both men and women.
It's really funny, because I snapped out of it one day; BAM, and my inner dyke reigns again. Strange how these things work out...
"my inner dyke reigns again" - hahahaha! one thing that i usually think about is how sexuality is so fluid. if you're attracted to a man that doesn't mean you're not a lesbian. i think it's totally valid to recognize beauty in any individual, they might have interestes and energy that you're attrated to, even if you're only actually attracted to women. and as for the prison straight or gay...i'm not sure how that can be...i think that there might be people who would open up to the same sex (or opposite) for the sake of sex..or loneliness.? ....but i still think that there's more of a chance of those individuals being predisposed. but who knows. anything's possible Just LOVE! peace!
it so weird, coz sometimes i think i am 100% lesbian, but then sometimes i will be attracted to a guy, whether its cos he is good looking, his personality or just his character, but i wouldnt want to be in a relationship with him, or have sex with him, even tho sometimes the attraction is sexual, this leads me to question my being a lesbian. so annoying when i think, yup, i know i am a lesbian, men do nothing for me, but then the "man attraction" comes along and confuses me all over again. blessings xxx
this is so annoying when this happens... all the times i have rly had crushes on or fallen in love were with women. but once in a blue moon, i am attracted to a guy. and that just confuses the whole thing completely. but... .... i know i'm gay really. my brain just likes to play tricks on me.
ah what curses we suffer honeyfugle why the hell does it happen? i am mainly attracted to women, but the odd attraction to a guy, and its only ever an actor or the actor playing a character, its sexual, it is. but only in a mental way, sexual in a mental way, not a pysichal way. ARGH! so the question boils down to... am i a lesbian or bisexual? ill let you know when i find out good luck georgina! blessings xxxx
Hah, good luck figuring that out! In the end, it's love that's important. I'm going to be a real geek and use a Harry Potter analogy here: In the books, Harry is put in Gryffindor house, but he always has doubts, because when he was sorted, he was told that he would be really great in Slytherin. However, he doesn't really like Slytherin. When he asks about it, he's told that the fact that he doesn't want to be in Slytherin reinforces the strength of his status as a Gryffindor. So, I don't know if this is your situation, but if you can't tell whether you're bi or les, but you'd prefer to be les, then doesn't your preference indicate what you are, intrinsically? I don't think that made one BIT of sense. It all falls together nicely in my head, so if they ever figure out how to connect computers to heads via USB, I'll get back to you on this one. But seriously, if it's an issue, just LOVE!
lol it did make sense! fun too maybe you are right, the fact that i enjoy "seeing" myself as a lesbian might be a hint. thanks for your help blessings xxx
