sorry for the long thread but try and bear with me, theres a lot on my mind i need to get out. met a girl, became friends. nothing big, would see each other couple times a week at college, talked and that was all. then gradually (6months) became better friends, while all the time i completely fell for this girl. she was completely different to what girls my age are like, its very hard to find a beautiful AND nice girl where i am. went out dinner/bars a few times, but because im so crazy about her, i never came out and said/did anything really obvious as shes too important to me. its been just over a year now, and we're still close friends, but it could be more. i want to tell her how much she really means to me & how much i care about her, but i dont want to lose a good friend & important person in my life. i havent even looked at another girl in over a year, no one appeals to me anymore, shes changed everything i came to expect & i cant see myself with anyone else. its kinda scary but when we're together, im happier than ive EVER been. also the trouble is she goes home for the summer (3months) and eventually in a couple years will go back home for good. im sort of over my head here what can i do? im stuck & would appreciate any advice. if i was to say something, how would i go about it?
I would say make a big show of it. do something special to let her know how you really fell, and start treating her like shes not a friend but something different.
You have to tell her. If you feel that much for her, don't keep it to yourself until it's too late. If one of my very best guy friends told me what you just told us, I would melt. And I would because I already have love for them. And I would probably find it would be worth chance to be with them. If she doesn't feel the same, it shouldn't change your friendship forever. Things may be awkward for awhile, but they'll get back together. But if you do take the chance and she feels the same, just think of what you'll be embarking on.
Step up and let her know how you feel. When my husband and I first dated he was moving out of the state within a few weeks. About a month after he moved I couldn't take it anymore and drove 1,000 miles to see if there was anything to "those feelings" that developed. That was almost 9 years ago and we have been together since. Taking that leap of faith and going to see him is by far one of the best decisions I have made in my life. Believe it or not not knowing how she feels is far worse than knowing she just wants to be friends. If things dont work out as least you have one hell of a good friend. Take the chance.......and good luck!
i know what i want to tell her but im not sure how i would start off, each time we're at the end of the night or something i think how she has no idea what im about to do and the idea of that & the awkwardness puts me off. thanks for to the ones who replied with advice and wishing me luck, ive never been in this deep before, shes just that kind of person that doesnt appeal to me at all
Best way to tell her is to open your mouth and talk. When you stumble over your words she will likely find it sweet and endearing, and it will come across more sincere than a rehearsed speech. Just start off by saying something like "I have wanted to tell you this for a long time but I get so nervous. Your friendship means everything to me, and because you are so wonderful I would like the chance to take our relationship to the next level. I don't want to create any awkward feelings between us, but it has been ripping me apart not to say anything" or something like that. Don't apologize for how you feel, because there is nothing to apologize for. So don't say "sorry if this upsets you" or anything close to that. Take a deep breath.....you will do just fine. Best of luck...
i had my first real chance since the first post to do it today and i just couldnt. i really have a problem with going from talking to where we say goodbye and suddenly blurting this stuff out. i just dont know how to do it, its not natural for me even if it may seem so simple to others. its just too random from talking about our day to "oh hey by the way...". so hard when the one you care about the most is standing right there in front of you
Trust me, this kind of thing isn't easy for most people. When "we" talk about what we did in a similar situation it is after the fact, and usually forget to mention that we felt nervous, scared, etc. Can you write down how you feel? Your letter could become a keepsake that she treasures.....might be something to consider. Best of luck!
Transatlanticism - e-mail, text message or write her in a carefully crafted message stating exactly how you feel about her. Then hold your breath for her response. You may be pleasantly surprised. Anther thing you can do, if you want to build a permanent relationship with her, is develop a list of positives and negatives about the two of you, to see if you are a good match. For example: Religious compatability? Sexually compatable? Politically compatable? From the same social class? Ethnically or racially compatable? Same goals in life? Educationally and intellectually compatable? Both want to work? Both want children? Parents compatable? Where do you both want to live? Rank each category (and any more you can think of) on a scale of 1-10 (ten highest), and see how compatable you are.
Yeah, you're right. Things are extremely hard when you're in the place yourself. But you'll be so glad and relieved when you do it. And a letter is a great idea. A letter is how I usually handle these kinds of things because I'me a lot better on paper (screen) than I am when I open my mouth and forget what I was even going to say... lol.
tell her take a chance it could be the best thing you ever done dont let her go you never know she could feel the same way good luck
