My ex and I split because he had had a woman on the side who he had been with for 10 years, and because he was really hevily into drugs and it was ruining his whole life. He contacted me about a week ago, and he wants back in my life. He says he's single and clean now. He won't let up, no matter how many times I tell him I don't want to be with him and that I've moved on. I've tried to block him and ignore him, but he's still calling, still finding ways around the blocks... the only thing he hasn't done is showed up at my door (yet). Last night, we were talking, and I told him I forgive him for the BS he caused in my life because I don't want bitterness in my life. And I was sincere in the apology because I feel he has more problems than I really saw in him before. And I think his grip on reality is totally distorted. Anyway, he begged me for a phone call, over and over again. (I've not been answering the phone.) And I've been refusing incessantly. He finally gave up, but then he began saying, "I wanted your voice to be the last woman's voice I heard before I left this world." And other things like that. And I asked what that was supposed to mean. He just continued to give me cryptic answers. He told me he was going home in 15 minutes and would appreciate if I would call, and if not, he guessed this was goodbye. I didn't believe it, really. And I told him that whatever he chose to do to himself was on him and had nothing to do with whether or not I was in his life and if he was trying to guilt me into calling by practically threatening suicide, then I was calling his fucking bluff. Well, he never read the note, never responded.... and now I have a sick feeling over everything.... what if he does commit suicide? Was I complete bitch?
Good call You can't control someone else, you know that. If he does kill himself he would have done it with or without you. I would bet he is just running out of things to try and get your attention. Of coarse your not being a bitch, he fucked up the relationship already and you can't be his source of support.
you are not responsible for his actions this is complete and utter mental abuse and an attempt to control you. it is low and asinine and proves that you did the righ tthing by keeping him out of your life.
Thanks Haid and Allonym. I appreciate it. I think I was looking for some reassurance that I had done the right thing... in truth, I don't think he will do anything. But if he does, I know that I don't have a reason to feel guilty.
You are right he's being too manipulative for you to take him seriously. You could report what he said to the police as he would be a suicide risk and if he meant it then it's in the hands of those who have the means to do something if not then it'll stop him being a further prick. also have you told any of this to his friends that will help to stop him using a serous thing for petty reasons. PS sorry he put you through that.
ugh an ex of mine pulled the same thing, everytime I think of it makes me sick I called his bluff and well he's still alive surprise surprise. It's a manipulation strategy to get you back as desperate and pathetic as it is. If it goes on for a few more days follow groovydude's advice.
don't be sucked into these head games. after my ex threatened to off himself repeatedly for 16 years, i finally got to the point where i wanted to help him do it. then i was finally able to walk away. point being...don't waste your life on people who do this shit. give him the number to suicide prevention and walk away. he needs help, and he's not gonna get it by manipulating you. ps - my ex is still alive 12 years after the divorce and is now making another woman's life hell. this is the second since our divorce. last one died. do the math.
my step sister had a bf like this and trust me your completely better off without him and hes only doin that shit to try get you back. and you have no reason to feel guilty either so have fun without him and enjoy
Wow, thanks everyone for your support and advice... he hadn't tried to contact me again until last night. I have a way of screening calls from private numbers so that I don't have to take them unless I want, and it was him. "I wish you'd just call!" I refused the call. I was very naive and gullible when he met me, but I've grown a lot in a short time. I think he will eventually get the message that I am not going to talk to him. But if he threatens suicide again, I will alert his friends of what he's been saying, and I'll let them know to watch him or encourage him to get help. Thanks again everyone!
