Fourteen hours is an eternity and seven miles is an ocean whose waves of discontent crash on both shores, but you ride those waves with your six-pointed shield; ever the protector; my hero. The silent phone line deafens. I don't say the words that hang on my lips. I don't have to. You already know. I miss you yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
Very beautiful. I really like this poem especially the opening 4 lines. One small criticism... I would get rid of the last line. It's very cliched and soppy. The poem has already said all of this and I think to repeat it at the end lessens the impact. 'You already know' is a much better finale, I think. All in all, a very good poam, beautifully written. Peace, A.
Ah, thanks for the quick reply! You're right about the last line.. it's more an afterthought than a part of the poem. This was actually an e-mail to my husband, and the last line was part of the e-mail. It can totally be taken out when the words are just read in a poem format. Thanks for the comments!
