Mother Of My Child???

I been havin these thoughts for sometime but now I'm starting to rack my brain thinkin if I want to cheat or not. I have never been the one to cheat, thats just not me because I wouldn't want that to happen to me. I have been with this person for 5 years now and have a 2 month old baby daughter together. I would be happy with marring her and that would be that but something in the back of my head wants someone new. Not for good just for right now but I don't want anything to come between me, her or my daughter. It could be just because I haven't had anything in over 2 months but I went 4 months with out anything when I was in training (Marines). I understand after the baby her couldn't do anything but that time has pasted and still nothing.

What are your thoughts on my problem?

 

Two months is not a long time to wait after a baby. It can take some time to heal up plus women go through a "everything for the baby stage". If you love her and value your family I would suggest you not cheat. Use the extra time to play with your daughter, your girlfriend will come around. Though don't expect to ever go back to pre-kid sex levels, that just doesn't happen most of the time. It takes a lot of energy to keep up with kids.

 

you're seriously considering cheating on the woman who you've been with for five years and bore your child? dude. thats pretty messed up. how would you feel if you found out that she'd cheated on you? i bet you'd be pretty pissed. if i were her and you cheated on me, you wouldn't see that baby again until she was 18 if she wanted to see you on her own. all you would become to me is a bad memory and a child support check. you should really take the feelings of the woman you love into consideration rather than your dick. but hey, that just my 2 cents.

 

she will come around just give her more time but don't cheat on her ...are you willing to throw your life away with her and possible with your daughter.. think about that

 

I'm havin thoughts about it, I didn't say I had someone in line wantin for me. I'm just tryin to get this out of my head, off my chest with out doin anything I'll regret. (And I regret nothing in my life) To the person that said if I cheated on her that I would see my child til they were 18 or something, 1st nothing and no one but himself can stop my from being a father to my child no matter what me and my girlfriend my go through. 2nd I do put her feeling first and in doin that too much I'm makin her into a monster. Right now we're not on the outs or nothing like that its just on of those times when we may get on each other about some stuff. More so on me and that is whats bothering because nothing I do is right, everything is all about her not the baby but her, and sometimes it just what she say that really piss me off. She says that I need to help of more but a close mouth don't get feed, I can and do take care of the baby when I get home. Its like I have to do everything and do every that I can't see or don't hear about. We talk (hell we just talked this mourning) about just everything but if my buttons are being pressed too much I have to do something. And she said "if I can't help then she'll find someone who can don't that she has." Thats her words not this mourning a few weeks ago and I changed after that when she finds new way to piss me off. At times I don't just think about cheatin I think about findin a new because no one should make me feel like shit. But I'll put up with it for now for her, for this bond, most of all for my child.

 

at least break up with her before you slip yoru dick into someoen elses pussy, seriously

have yall considered couples counselling?

 

oh, well, i didnt know you two were having problems. but still, cheating would be pretty low. babies cause stress, thats to be expected, so you're both probably pretty frazzled and taking it out on each other. i agree with allonym that counseling would be a good idea.

 

Ummm why would you want to cheat on someone you;ve been with for 5 years and throw all that away? If you cheat you will risk everything. I wouldnt do it. Just chill out, i know poeple that go without sex for 5 months, sex isnt everything. Maybe you should try talking to her or something.

 

I'm not just thinking about sex and or cheating I'm thinkin about leaving if this keep goin on. Sex isn't that big compeared to the other thing, like the way she acts and makes me feel. I'm not goin to seat there and 2 time the woman that I love but I'm also not goin to seat there and be belittled. No I haven't thought about counseling thats just not me but I would go if she would. I don't think we're at that point, but as of right now she is on the clock. I changed did thing her way and thing for her, now I would like some leeway, some help from her. Nothing physical just some consideration for my feelings.

 

semper fi, look it up marine.

 

have you even tried telling her how you feel?

 

Semper Fi has nothing to do with this thats the Corps this is life and I am faithful to her. Look at my other post and you'll see that. And I told her who she is making me feel not the other things. Right now I'm not havin the same feelings now that I cooled off some.

 

The "Seven Year Itch" actually happens around 5 years, add to that the new addition of a child and you have a potential problem. The problem that many people will face is the "I want something different" phase, and during this phase it is easy to vilify the partner.

Chances are what is going on with you and your girlfriend really isn't that bad. If you take a step back, and talk to other parents you will find that many of them have gone through the same thing during the adjustment to a new child. Unfortunately it is entirely too easy to start piling on the complaints until you feel justified in cheating on your partner.

My advice would be to take the time to remember each other as more than "mom and dad" because it is hard for many women to feel sexy after having a child. Try hiring a babysitter and having an evening out. A child is both physically and emotionally draining, (even though it is also a rewarding experience). I know when my kids were babies it was easy to get stuck in a rut. Before kids I was always wore make-up and not a hair was out of place. After kids there were some days I was lucky to have the time and energy to eat much less make myself pretty for my man. As for sex, it was usually the last thing on my mind. It got better, but it took time.

Don't be too quick to have an affair because you can't take it back. Work on your relationship and try to remember that your girlfriend is still the woman you fell in love with, and help her remember that too. Strange isn't worth what it will cost you. Not just the child support you'd end up paying, but the being able to look at yourself and know without a doubt that you are an honest and decent person.

 

that doesn't make any sense.

its 7 year itch for a reason, it happens 7 years in.

edit; unless you want to call it the 5 year itch, which i think is maybe what you ment

i don't buy it either way

but thats neither here nor there

 

the seven year itch isnt guaranteed to happen at 7 years for every single individual on the planet. there, happy? :tongue:

 

it has everything to do with it! you join the marines to what? protect your people and most importantly the ones you love! You are faithful to them and your companions in the corps! Another thing, you dont think the marine corps is real life? Wait until you see the suffering these "real life" marines go through. its good that you are faithful to her, but you shouldn't be thinking about cheating, atleast take a break, or open up to her.

 

No, I meant "the Seven Year Itch" and it can happen between 5-8 years into a relationship.

"That supposed urge for infidelity after seven years of marriage is the meaning we now have for this phrase. It is now often extended to refer to an urge to move on from any situation, and not even limited to those of seven years' duration."

If you are really into technicalities the "Seven Year Itch" had nothing to do with sex until the movie starring Maralyn Monroe came out. However, even though that is the case, most people will understand my use of the phrase just fine. I MEANT what I said, and was trying to be helpful. Buy it or not, I don't care.

 

wo ho ho, well well, okay than :H

anyways

what I mean by not buying it, why do we need phrases to explain something that is sorta negative, as if to make up excuses and feel better about the negative.

If there is love, there is no 5 or 8 or 15 year itch. If there is a 5, 7, ect year itch, maybe the relationship is lacking something more fundamental and should not be anymore?

 

It is not uncommon when in a long term relationship to go through a period of wanting "something new." For some it is a fleeting thought, but for others it could become an all consuming desire. The difference in relationships is what the person decides to do about it. Many people make the effort to "spice things up" in their relationship and stay together. Others look at it as an excuse to cheat on their partner. That is why my advice was to work on the relationship.

Even in a loving relationship there are periods of boredom, lack of desire, and so on. Relationships take work, and sadly some people forget that.

 

I'm not rushing to leave or cheat I'm just looking for answers in some another places. I'm trying to "Spice Things Up" I even has a thread by that name for this just to get some other ideas. I try to put together something this weekend for just me and her or all 3 of us if possible, so if you have any ideas please feel free to put them on that thread. But in my response to Underoathxxx you have to learn to separate family and corps, semper fi will always be there but mission first family always.