disclaimer: i know im being a bit irrationa,l i know im being excessive, and i havent had my coffee yet this morning so im probably an incoherent bitch so my bf and i moved in togteher about a month ago. a week ago or so, our roommate moved in (she lives in another provine normally and comes here for school). shes a nice enough person but shes driving me nuts between 10pm and 10am she never seems to flush the toilet after using it. she talks with her mouth full, will come into my room when me or my bf are in it to talk unless my door is completely shut (im used to being able to have it almost shut but not clicked into placea nd thats a not so subtle way to say leave me the fuck alone). shes super cheery and loud and wants to talk lots in the morning when im stumbling in a stupor making my coffee. she doesnt push chairs in or wipe down the table or do any chores around the house save for the dishes (which is nice, that i dont have to do dishes very often, but still... hasnt taken out the garbage, wiped down the table after eating, helped haul groceries from the store which is only like 3 blocks away, or anything like that). she always decides to sit between me and my bf at teh kitchen table (3 chairs as one side of the table is against the wall, she sits in the middle instead of letting us sit side by side)... -always- u nless we snatch chairs first she leaves at random times which, tbh is kind of nice. but i never know when to expect her being home or not. shes a bit of a prude about sex so im worried about when my bf and i have sex and especially when it comes time for me to orgasm (host of stress and other issues have made my libido crash til, well, now pretty much so i havent orgasmed in like 2 weeks) honestly theres enough shit in my life atm that i dont need to worrying about making a brand new friend... i just want to be left alone in my room when im trying to de-stress and mellow and such. i know im being a wee bit excessive but im just annoyed and need to vent
Maybe you should try talking to her and telling her how you feel. Set some rules. Let her know that if shes going to live there she needs to help out more or else she can leave.
no shit sherlock, thats why i put up all those disclaimers of yes im being a rabid bitch anyway.... i just dont feel like dealing with her at all... and yet i get to go on a 4 hour road trip with her and some people this weekend and then 4 hours back up to get home (a mutual friends wedding hoohah)
Sounds like you need a good shag to de-stress. Forget what the roomy may think, just release yourself. This reminds me when my then-bf and I moved out of our private 1 BR and into a house with his bro and 2 other roommates. I adapted my sex life by smothering my face with pillows and clenching my teeth -- don't do this, it was enough to cause my dentist some concern of me grinding my teeth in my sleep, I didn't tell him it was sex related. He fitted me with a mouth piece to wear at night. Looking back on the dental damage that caused I wished I hadn't cared so much. My roomies were no prudes but it was just awkward all the same and lets just get over it, she's your peer not your mother-in-law. To muffle the sounds, play some music loud enough, use pillows to muffle your voice, channel the energy more physically instead of audibly. IDK, post something on the love and sex forums, others must have been in this situation and found ways to adapt, but honestly, don't worry about her hearing you, as long as ur not waking her up. But you have to let go and get the release to relieve pent up tension and then things will be more tolerable.
wow you are a bitch, when spooner said his opinion, you bitched at him. why don't you just have your coffee and stop bitching at everyone around you. sheesh your just like my sister.
^ ahah I like you allonym, but you can be a bit overly bitchy at times but it makes me wonder, how do you act about all of this in real life how many of these troubles have you made aware to this roommate?
as id said in the first post, im using this thread to vent. if i dont let it out somehow ill bottle it and explode as a rabid bitch and completely fuck shit up, or else ill take it out on myself and that aint pretty either. so i use the internet to anonymous let loose my emotions, its healthy, right? well, healthier than bottling everythign in what have i talked to her about? absolutely nothing. i mentioned the flushing the toilet thing and the fact that im an incoherent bitchy zombie in the morning to my bf (he knows what im like pre-caffeination) and he mentioned to hte roomie that im completely unfunctional in the morning. thats all. fyi personal attacks are agaisnt hipforum rules. no i aint gonna bothre reporting you but be careful eh, no sense getting banned over somethign so silly. i seriously doubt that hipforums counts as "everyone around" me though
but that's exactly what I mean instead of bottling all this up for a little and having to vent by being an insane bitch online, don't be so afraid to be seen as a bitch in rela life I'm not saying you should 'completely fuck her shit up' but when she does somethign that bothers you tell her, 'hey, I know you like sitting in the middle, but sometimes I'd like to sit next to my boyfriend' and some other things like the dishes vs. wiping down the table/grabge, doing the dishses SUCKS, you have the better hand there =P
she mostly does the dishes cuz she doesnt liek cooking or doesnt think shes good at it and thus feels bad for when i do cook for us all (i enjoycooking wehn im in the mood for it, which was a lot last week, way more than normal heh) i do need to talk to her about seating and toilets and door code >.< i just suck at confrontation, at bringing this kind of shit up with people. bah. she really is a nice person, im just mildly overloading from being in classes again so i want as much alone time as i can get my hands on
confrontation problems only go away if you confront people and get used to it there's no reason to have such problems, really just make sure to be careful in wording.
the fact that you mentioned those specific times of when she doesn't flush suggests that she prolly comes from a household where toilets flushed with a thunderous crash and thus was discouraged from being flushed during sleeping hours. You'll have to get one on one with her and tell her that things will run a little differently in this house. Things always do run differently from house to house and you can't expect new roomies to automatically pick up your particular protocol or read your mind. Just let her know that it's ok to flush when ppl are sleeping. As far as seating just ask her as if it was a favour… cos it really is, seating is first come first serve unless mentioned otherwise. Remember your please and thank-you's and watch your tone of voice, it speaks more than words. A couple of times of asking her and she'll get the picture. I agree with Duck on the dishes, it's the most time consuming chore cos it's done every day, but you could still ask her to wipe the table when she's done.
Yeah well all these details seem incredibly minute. If you can't deal with the tiny insignificants of having a roommate, live alone. This shit shouldn't be bothering you: "oh no, the chair wasn't pushed in".
ive lived with a roommate before and he didnt annoy me as much as this... maybe i just cant live with chicks who arent my mother *shrugs* i guess i need to say it again, but i -know- im being ridiculous about this,g etting annoyed over tiny infinitesimal things, thats why im using this thread to -vent- and not getting in her face about it
