Just so you people know i'm not a troller i'm just posting this under a diffrent name.i'd rather this be something to faceless people from a faceless person.Really tho i'm just your typical 18 year old girl next door. I'm going to start out by saying when i was younger i was so fucking anti-social i really couldent even look at a person without asking myself if thay were judging me and my every action was somehow wrong.I hated my home life so when i was 14 my aunt offered to let me live with her as long as i pulled my weight and helped around the house and i agreed and moved in.My aunts house had so much more of a homey feel and despite the fact that i was ever so goth, i liked it.I Now i said i liked living with my aunt and i really did for sometime..Untill i got to expeirence the biggest drunken reneck ever..my uncle.This guy can have a really nice personality on the outside, but inside hes nothing but a rotting pile of maggots thats sole purpose is to feed on other peoples insucuritys.At 14 i was still really very much still a kid (hell i still am now in some ways) and he was one of the people i would rough house with...And it was that innocent type of play that he used to test the waters..he would hold me down and stuff even before i was 14..but at 14 i was starting to notice guys and had so many self-worth issues that it was just so fucking easy for him to take advantage of that a turn it into a sexual relationship. So pop i loose my virginity to the bag of shit.After the inital confusion of the whole thing i realised that it was wrong.See the fucked up thing about it is i couldent leave after realising how fucked up my cousins lives really were.I was the one that cooked dinner there, i was the one that helped the kids with there home work.My aunt locked herself in her room ever night smokeing weed and doing whatever and my uncle got drunk and buged me all night..I was also homeschooled at that point but since i no longer lived with my mom i was doing it on my own..i kinda felt some self-worth desipite what was happening because i really did want to help. This went on for almost two years untill i said fuck it..I came back home to mom and found a boyfriend ,weed and droped out of shool ..We only lasted about a month and i still catch shit from people that knew about..so yea he looked like a rat and had bad teeth and was a shitty boyfriend.But it was enough to make me say fuck it. know my uncles a sick fuck and karma has been and still is kicking his ass.I'v thought about pressing charges against him because i know he could do it again to someone else..But i feel like he put me thru enough and at this point in my life i'm not ready to deal with all the bull shit and the fact that there is no evidence...he would still get away with it and i'd have to deal with all the bull shit. Since then i'v really spent my life just living and trying to make up for the times with friends and family i lost.I'v had a few boyfriends since then and yea the first few relationships were rough but..I know my worth and really I'v cried it all out long before now..I just had to let this be known. You know the really funny thing about it all? Im a better person now then i ever have been.It's like befor anything really bad happened to me i was selfish and always felt like i was delt a bad hand.But after this i cant iimagine life without my family.Thay dont know about any of this but it really helped me realise how rare and precious uncondidtional love really is.It's helped me realise how pointless holding grudges are because i cant change the past. All in all it's a sucky way to learn a leasson.So to all you emo/goh kids..shut the fuck up and learn to love life.
Sometimes horrible situations make you stronger if you learn from them. So really you won, you are a much better person. I'm really sorry that happened to you though, but I'm glad you got through it strong. Take care
Goth doesnt make you a whinger - if someones a goth all they have to really do is dress the part since thats all you need. I know people that are goths that are really fun etc... Im glad you made it, but what about your cousins?? Will they be ok or have they left home? Did your uncle do anything to them?? You might wanna tell your folks just in case - you dont want your uncle to be abe to do that again and even if its doesnt stop im maybe your mom/dad can help. I hope you find your soulmate or if ya dont believe in that your love... Hope it goes well xxx
That's a great attitude to have. Just say fuck it, let the past be past, and just make your life rock. Even if it sucks . Oh, and next time you see an emo kid slitting their wrists for attention, just kick them in the face and give them something something real to cry about!
