good day to anyone reading this. i am a 22-year old guy. i am, obviously, gay. and i am just about to relocate to belgium. now i usually do not take the "online approach" (or, not anymore), as i am not too much into boards of any kind. also i prefer to deal with my problems alone, solve them in my head and make the best choices. but now i felt the need to ask a question, and i couldn't get it out of my system so here i am. i am not out. but that is merely a tangential issue. i have been in a 2-year relationship with a married man (it sounds bad but i know who i am and what i've felt all this time so i have made peace in my mind), but this is not the issue either. i have a best friend (female) and i care for her deeply. she is funny, sweet, kinky and a great cook to boot. she has just broken up with a virtual love interest and i was there to comfort her, of course. i suspect she is at least quite a bit in love with me (how often do you hear that here? all the time, i'm sure). like i said, i am going to belgium for a year and i have been talking to a guy there, and i can't wait to see him. he is all the things she is but not a good cook! i am seriously thinking about coming out. at least to my good friend. my question is: should i do it before i leave (i leave in less than 2 weeks) or sometime after, perhaps when she comes visit (that will be possible only sometime next year, february, march)? i care for her very much and i am worried that, if i come out now and then leave, she will feel completely abandoned (especially with all this following her bad break-up)... but i also want to be honest with her and share more of me than ever before, also i don't want to give her high hopes... and i don't want to scare her with a coming out/already have a boyfriend combo - if she comes visit. frankly, i have reached a dead end and cannot take the next step. so i will take any friendly advice you can give... if any. she is very special to me. i want to do this with the least harm possible. thank you so much for reading this, and i will appreciate any kind of feedback. all the best, t.
