A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. "What size?" asks the clerk? "Gee, I don't know." "Go see Sophie in aisle 4." He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the crotch, and yells, "Medium!" The guy is mortified! He hurries over to pay and leaves quickly. Another guy comes in to buy condoms, and gets sent to Sophie in aisle 4. Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!" The guy struts over to the register, pays, and leaves. A high school kid comes in to buy condoms. "What size?" The kid embarrassedly says "I've never done this before. I don't know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle 4. She grabs him and yells "Clean up in aisle 4!"
hows about this: a man rides a camel across a desert, after five days with no one around, he gets incredibly horny. his sex starved mind leads him to the terrible conclusion: the camel. he drops trou and prepares to do his camel up the wrong 'un, but the camel is startled and runs off. he later catches up with it, apologises, calms it down and continues on his jopurney. All goes weel for another 5 days till he gets the horn again. he decides to try it on and hump that humped beast again, but it runs off again and he runs after it, same as before this happens a few times until he comes to a car full of beautiful women who have broken down. (the car not the ladies). they offer to "help him out" if he fixes their car for them. armed with a convieniently concealed spanner he does so. Now" say the ladies "how can we ever repay you" he answered without hesitation:" well, i hope you will not think me too forward, but i happen to be incredibly horny at the moment, so i would really appreciate it if you could help me out." "how?" "hold down me camel for a bit."
A tourist is going to rent a camel to ride around and look at the sights in Egypt.So the camel owner rounds up his camels for the tourist to look at and to pick the one he fancies.He picks one and the camel guy turns the others loose and walks the chosen camel up to a water trough.His helper forces the camel's head under the water and the camel owner picks up 2 rocks and smashes the camel's balls between the rocks.The camel sucks up a huge amount of water and the tourist,shocked says"man doesn't that really hurt?"Oh yes,"the camel owner says."It's very painful when you get your fingers between the rocks".
A traveller is stuck in a small town in Mexico. No Cars. No bus service. Everyone in this town was apparently born there. Finally he is able to make a trade with an old woman for a scrawny old jackass and two chickens - but not any of her good laying hens! - So he picks out a young pullet and an old rooster (so at least he'll have food if the journey is long, or something to trade at the next village), sets himself astride the jackass with a clucking bird under each arm, and heads off on his merry way - but not before she has warned him that this jackass is a temperamental creature who will sometimes stop dead in his tracks, but the one thing that will get him going again is to tickle him just behind the ear. Got the story so far? So sure enough, in the middle of nowhere, the jackass stops and refuses to take another step. Now the traveller knows what he has to do, but his hands are full! So he waits until another traveler comes along, sidles up to him and says: "Excuse me, sir, would you be so kind as to hold my cock and pullet while I tickle my ass with my finger?"
