IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE'S HUSBAND? help!

so here is a werid question? But please do comment?
What happen's when you fall in love with someone, you CAN almost certainly never have, like ? Someone elses husband?
Yea, you read right, im in love with my friend's husband!
They don't have a great relationship, and on the other hand nether do i, WITH my husband.
We both care and love each other dearly, me and my best friends husband,
so i know the feeling is the same.
The thing is, I have children, and they have children, and it is not so simple
as just leaving one other's spouse.
So my question is NOT how do i be with him, BUT HOW do i forget about him?
I don't hang out with nether him or his wife anymore. noR Do i hearly talk to them.
But i can't get him out of my mind!
Im i just confused? OR is it maybe there is something in my relationship with my husband that is missing that i want in this other person? any thoughts?
HOW DO YOU GET SOMEONE OUT OF YOUR HEAD?

 

I would try working on your relationship with your husband to make it better. You said that you are having troubles and that could be what is going on with you being attracted to another man. Try going on a weekend trip with just your husband and not the kids to try and rekindle the flame. Even if it is just camping out for a couple of days just the 2 of you.

 

thank's, i think that is the problem too, i really love my husband, but something is missing, and i know it is something we have to work on.

I just wish i wouldn't feel this way about someone else, makes me feel bad.

 

Why do you believe that you are in love with the other man?

Peace and love

 

Why are you more concerned with getting another man out of your head than on focusing on being with the one you vowed to love and to cherish for the rest of your life?

it's good your taking steps to prevent an affair, but are you concerned with how your husband would feel if he knew how you felt? or your friend? Is it only bc the situations difficult, that you do not pursue?

I do believe most people cheat in a committed relationships bc something is lacking. You should explore yourself and your husband, and find out what that is, if the feeling is mutual, and what you can do about it. If that can be done, would you still consider this other man?

 

I loved someone elses husband, and he flirted with me..now they're divorced..i talk to him everyday now..lol

 

you sound proud of that. I don't see how you could.

 

You can't choose who you fall in live with. You can choose to act on it or not. It sounds like she understand this and is willing to work on things with her husband. No one should judge her for her feelings.

 

I think that you just have a crush, wich is pretty normal thing. But the thing is, i don't know how people get over crushes when they are in a relationship, and i want to know too....

 

I"m not proud of it that it was a sin to flirt with her husband while he was married..but now I know what she did to him, and now that he's divorced, why should I care that i talk to him everyday, his ex-wife has nothing to do with me..

 

Cause whenever i see him, or use to talk to him, it felt right, and i feel, how can i say this? Special? But then again, maybe it is cause there is something missing in my relationship with my husband, which looking on it now, i think i know what it is, My husband make's me feel sometime's like he doesn't care, or when i go to hug him, he make's me feel like he is only doing it to shut me up? so to speak? KNow what im talking about? like this"""ok? ill give you a hug, but make it quick? KNOw what i mean? I feel like he is most into making be happy in that moment then showing effection towards me? Make sence?
I hate this.

 

i don't talk to this other man anymore, only every now and again and far and in between, but as much as i try not to think about him, i find him popping up in my mind and my thoughts', there is no way i could be with this man, and even if i was single, we would never work out, i know that much, he is a old fashion type of guy who believe's women should do everything for the man, and take care of the kids all by themselfs, and so on,
I believe relationships today need to be 50/50 not 10/90, or one person will get more stressed and go overboard.
Thing's have come along way since "The Happy Day's"
It just isn't like that anymore.
But knowing this , and knowing i have no intention's of leaving my husband, for some reason i still want this person, like i can't get them out of my mind.
Maybe it is a crush, but dam, i wish i could get over it.

 

It sounds like you love the way he makes you feel. It sounds like you have a crush on him. IMHO, I believe that love is much more than that. I love my fiance because he has a good heart and understands me more than anyone else. He knows me through and through. He understands my mood swings and picks me up when I'm feeling down. He doesn't always make me feel "special" per se, but I always feel loved, accepted for who I am.

What other things make you feel like you love him?

Peace and love

 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Florida
Age: 17
Female Posts: 36



I loved someone elses husband, and he flirted with me..now they're divorced..i talk to him everyday now..lol
__________________

how can you say your not proud of that ??

SIN is so correct .. The way you said it is like your all that. Don't you understand people have feelings ?? Than again your only 17 ? so it says.

If the tables were turned how would you feel?
hurt betrayed not loved taken advantage of cheated lied to just some to start not even finished

 

well, he make's be feel special, i am alway's excited when i know
im going to see him, when we did talk, we could talk about nothing for hours
wasn't sex related, could be about anything, just how his day was at work
or my day was at work.
He alway's seem's happy to talk to me, and i am always happy to talk to him.
Other then that, i don't know much about him to be honest, i mean, other then what we talk about on the phone. WhaT we share to one other about our lives', everything else is hear say.

We complain about our spouses, but, i alway's end a sentence in {"Well even tho things aren't as i would like them" "i STILL love my husband"} AND I tell this to him, almost all the time' i feel i need to cause i do love my husband, and for the reason's you said before, because my husband accepts me, picks me up when im down, and is always there, i just wish he would show more effection towards me then he does, just cause you heard that someone loves you 100 million times, it still feels good to hear it everyday.
It is the simple things with me that win my heart, example"

A morning kiss in the morning, for no reason at all
A hug in the afternoon , when there is nothing else to do
Just the little thing's in life are importent to me.

i can't even count the number of time's my husband has pushed me away
when i tryed to get close to him, or just sit and hug him or something.
Our sex life is almost -non-exsitent, we have sex maybe once a week, if that
and even then it isn't the best! One , two, three, done kinda thing.
so im not so sure is it is sex that im looking for and don't know it
or it is something other then sex all together.
Now don't get my wrong, I DONT WANT to be with this other man.!
That is what i don't understand. Can't we just be friend's?

I might have a crush, but whatever it is, it get''s stronger with time.
And i find myself thinking about him, while in my husband's arm's.
Very scary , i tell ya.
I know this is wrong, maybe there is something wrong with me.
But i need to get over this, i love my family and don't want to loose them.
it would never work with this other man.

 

some people desire the undesireable. does that sound like you? you may be more in love with the thought than the action.

Can't give you any pointers there but I think it's important to understand WHY you may be having these feelings, and then dig deeper into yourself.

 

my fiance does that occassionally. I think it might be a guy thing. If you've ever read Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus they describe it as a man going into his cave, which they all do occassionaly, and we should just wait until he is ready, bc there is NO forcing him out of it. If you haven't read it it is a good read.

 

Yeah, i talking this over with someone i trust with this, and she told me the same thing, maybe its not the action, but the thought, and i think that is what it is.I will be honest, i am a very needy person, by defult, and i have to ague with myself, and say, NO , that is not right, or things like that.

I know what is right and wrong in this situation, and i know i need to spend more energy on working things out with my husband, and less time worring about why i feel this way about someone else.

I think all i want to know now is how to move on, without feeling bad about it.
I thought about it, and this feeling i have for this person, i would have to say with 99% sureness, that im not IN LOVE WITH HIM, but in love with the attention he gives me! MAKE SENCE?

the reason im dewling on this so much is, im trying to figer out who i am, and what makes me tick, cause i dont want things like this to confuse me in the future.

 

hoperenefeese - I read in another thread that you got pregnant swinging with another couple. Is this the guy you where talking about it the other thread?

 

N0 it is someone else, my friend (tara) i have known since high school,and her husband, in which this thread is about, is hers'! WHICH NOTHING WILL HAPPEN!

the man in the other thread was the husband of my girlfriend who lives a couple countys away, which we no longer talk to! 2 different situation's!, Sorry for the confusion.