Tell me what you think, Cha turns to ching, as diamonds turn to bling. People obsess over everything, thinking gold will make them king. If we could all just forget, forget about the stupid shit. So when we want, what we cannot get, No one throws a hissy fit. Everyones got something on their mind, always worried about the time. This world we live in, is a crime, for no one ever truly shines. So when you decide what to wear, don't think of the people over there, put it on if it has a slight tear, you should never ever care! Only choose what you wish to say, there will always be another day. Be wise and make it go your way, Never slave for any pay. It is my advice, you don't have to heed, you'll be caught up with wants and needs, accepting cash for evil deeds, all because you chose greed.
This is pretty blunt, but it works. Just remeber, not everyone is an artist, some people have to follow. Pigs, Sheep, Dogs.
the message is a good one. the poem is good. Work on your syllable count and you will only make the poem better. Good job.
It may have been a little plain, but it was still pretty badass! I agree with the message, too. Write on, man! You definitely have something there.
