women are so mean to eachother

why are women so terrible to eachother?I have seen so many posts on here like "i hate men" "why are all men assholes" and that such bullshit. i feel though, that the real question to be answered is why are women assholes? now let me explain.
i moved here 5 years ago. Since then, there is this one girl who has had it out for me for ABSOLUTELY no reason.like she literaly saw me on the first day of school and decided to hate me. she was the "hot girl" in school. not hot like a cheerleader but the girl that is a complete whore and thats why she is hot. my frist boyfriend i had, she took him from me after 5 months.not such a big deal anymore, this was 5 years ago. well then i got together with my current boyfriend and for the first 3 years of our relationship she fucked with him behind my back.calling him, telling him she missed him, hanging out without me knowing.all while she was supposed to be my friend.holy shit i even got this guy she really liked to go out with her and they were together for 3 years. well last november she finally got what she wanted.he broke up with me and we were split up for about 7 months.in that time they had sex twice. well, after this he finally decided he didnt want anything to do with her ever again. we are back together now and happier than we have ever been with our relationship.
here is my issue. why WHY WHHYYYY do women do this shit? why would you go for a guy that has been with a girl since they were fucking 15 years old? why would you want to break something like that apart? women have enough problems with men as it is without back stabbing cunts going after the one good guy you have found.and for no reason other than to piss you off.thats it. she never really cared for him, she didnt want a relationship. this girl,is a cold shell of a human. she doesnt care about anyone at all.i know this because i was her friend for a long time and i tried to get past the immature bullshit and just let the past be the past.then they had sex and this is just not something im willing to let go.
now most people would say well "you are mad at the wrong person". but my boyfriend and i have since faced our demons and delt with them.this is about her.and how everytime im am around her i feel terrible. i feel insecure and ugly,and fat and just shitty.she knows this and its exactly what she wanted out of the whole thing. was simply to make me feel like shit. i truely do not believe i deserve this. im obsessed with it now though. its pathetic really. i cant be around her and have not been because i honelsty feel that if there isn't a metal barrier between us, i will kill her.i will murder the bitch. i dont know how to deal with this. i dont want to obess over someone i hate and i dont want to feel bad around her because i know that im a better person.i dont want to deal with this anymore,it is painful to me and ruins my day every time.i just want to be at peace with it, enjoy my relationship,and not give a shit about her.but i feel like i was hurt too badly to just let it go.i dont know how to deal with it anymore.any advise?

 

people in general are shitty with each other. and if someone thinks you have something better going for you than they do, they might just be weak enough in character to try to take you down. standing on your back to make themselves feel bigger. that's not a male/female thing. it's an "hey everyone, i'm an asshole" thing. write her off.

 

I don't know, you are the one calling people bitches and cunts.

If you are really over this issue, then why so much anger?

I think you both have self-esteem issues if you ask me. But I'm no shrink.

I really am sorry that this has happened to you, but the best thing to do would be to be upfront and honest with everyone involved (that includes yourself) and face the issue. Point blank as her what her problem is with you and tell her that you will not put up with her behavior any longer, and stick to that. That means that you may very well have to make some tough decisions, but I really don't see how complaining about it is going to solve any problem. Actually, it probably only feeds the fire and makes you feel worse.

 

well, i think that's harsh. she's had someone be INCREDIBLY nasty to her. she has a right to the anger. i've thought back on a lot of fucked up shit that people have done to me and didn't FEEL anything, but still thought to myself "what the fucking hell?" it's no so much about having self esteem issues so much as trying to figure out what the fuck that was all about. in addition, her initial question, in regards to how women can abuse one another, is a valid one. why call all men pigs and bastards and stuff, which i've been annoyed with for YEARS when women are equally as evil?

 

chicks are far worse than dudes

 

nah. i don't think so.

 

two guys that hate each other can hang out, drink, bullshit like absolutely nothing is wrong between them
two chicks that hate each other should most usually not be allowed in the same neighborhood

 

not true. it's exactly the same situation. some people can be civil, some people can't. it's not about the sex so much as the maturity level. i absolutely despise my husband's ex-wife's cousin, and his ex does too. but we were perfectly civil to each other for HOURS.

 

kay, well then, girls are worse than boys at least :tongue:

 

lol

i still hate that bitch.

 

Beacuse they're insecure about not having penii.

 

well, honestly, i can get one just about any time i feel like it, but i don't have to carry it around and have it and my balls stuck to my legs and each other.

 

Really? I didn't think it was harsh at all. And most certainly not more harsh than her calling women bitches and cunts, whether the person was nasty to her or not. And again certainly not more harsh than threatening to kill someone or do bodily harm to them.

She asked a question and I gave my honest opinion on the subject. I'm entitled to that, and you are entitled to think it is harsh. I think that the person doing these things to her is very insecure and that is why she feels the need to do them. I think the OP is insecure because she is letting these things bother her to this great extent.

People are mean to each other, you can't control what someone else does to you, but you can control how you let it affect you and what you do about it. I never said it is easy to take the higher road, and I never said that it doesn't hurt. I had females do all sorts of incredibly mean things to me in the past (hell they probably still do), but I can't revolve my life around it. I can't let them get the best of me. I have questioned why they would do such things. I just have to realize that they have issues and they are taking it out on me. I just deal with it and move on and live my life and be happy. That is probably the best "revenge" anyway (if that is what you are looking for).

I don't call men pigs and bastards either. But again like someone already posted, it is about maturity.

 

You're telling me... Im still in school!!!

 

just for clarification and understanding, i never anywhere questioned your right to your opinion, merely argued with it.

and that maturity comment was mine.

 

I didn't say you questioned it, LOL, argue with me all you want, I love arguing that is specifically why I come heren (no that does not make me a troll, I've been a contributor to this place for years, I just like a good mental/verbal sparing).

Why are you always so defensive? Chillax a little.

I thought the maturity comment was yours but I couldn't remember and quite frankly I hate the way these boards thread these days.

 

i wasn't being defensive. within the spirit of the thread, wherein two very outspoken females have firmly stated our purposes, it was to our own individual interests as women who like to argue, to state that there was no cross purpose occuring (for those who "know" neither of us. however, i do now resent that you've called me defensive, since that seems more to reflect on you than on me, and i've been reading your responses for years thinking "right ON." however, that may have changed.

 

im not calling "people" bitches and cunts.im talking about her.this one particular ****.
excuse me if i sound rude when i explain this,but this is a heated issue for me (for 5 years)and i dont think you even begin to understand. thank you for your non-shrink opinion about my self-esteem and hers,but you are wrong.completely.her for instance,I just spoke to someone about this the other day who was her friend recently (is not anymore) and she said that in highschool she would sit at the lunch table with kayleigh(thats my friend) and would just point guys out and say "im gonna fuck him" and kayleigh would be like "well, he has a girlfriend i dont think its gonna happen" and this girl would just be like "i dont care im going to anyways,im prettier than she is". now,having that information....do you really think she has low self-esteem? see the thing is, she is a beautiful girl who really can get any guy she wants regardless of girlfriends. As far as myself, i dont have self-esteem issues.i am completely happy with the way i look and feel and i am a confident person inside and out.its only when im around her i being in crawl inside of myself and start feeling like shit. But its not about being insecure,everyone has someone they are insecure around. its more of a helpless feeling.
furthermore, i don't need to tell her the problem. she knows exactly what she is doing.SHE PLANS IT. she makes plans to hurt people and ruin relationships. mine for instance, we have been together for 4 years, and that meant nothing to her and her wild vagina.
Where in the entire thing did you come up with me being over the issue?the whole point is that im NOT over it. I dont know how to be over because it bothers me beyond the point of me being able to control it. you want to know why so much anger? because this girl went out of her fucking way for 4 years to take what i had with my boyfriend away from me. my boyfriend is the only one i have in this world aside from my grandmother and has been since i was 14. i will not go into why but i can promise you that is not an exageration formed from teen angst. it is just the way it is. i did not post it to complain or argue,I ask for advise on how to deal with not being able to deal, not for you to judge me.

"People are mean to each other, you can't control what someone else does to you, but you can control how you let it affect you and what you do about it."

the whole problem is that i can not control how it affects me. and i haven't done anything about it.

 

depends on the women, i guess.

 

Yes, I do. And it doesn't take a shrink to figure that one out smarty pants. Yes, she has a low self-esteem, that is why she tries to sleep with people's boyfriends, and convince herself and everyone else that she is worthy of love or affection or whatever it is she is looking for. Do you understand the definition of low self-esteem? THIS GIRL HAS SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES! It is not hard to recognize. She does these things to make herself feel good. If she already felt good about who she was, she would not find it necessary to do these things to people. Do you follow me? I mean I can mail you a book if you want.

Yeah, she does know exactly what she does, and she does plan it, but I highly doubt that too many people have confronted her on the issue. That is why I said to tell her about it. Prove to her that you are not going to let it bother you, and don't let it bother you. Live your life the way you want to with your boyfriend and forget her. That is the only way to move past this yourself, and to help her out of your life. She is expecting you to react the way that you do, that is why she does it. If you react differently and stand up to her, she will back down at some point. You are just feeding her flames. Again I'm not sure why you aren't understanding this.

I didn't think you were over it. That was my point. I was trying to tell you to get over it. I was trying to tell you to DEAL with it like a mature adult and move on. You will find bullies everywhere in life, I mean everywhere until you die. There is nothing you can do about it. People will cut in front of you in line, there will be backstabbing people at work who sabotage your job, there will be people throughout life who will try to steal your man. It is going to happen. But you have to learn to deal with it in a rational way NOW.

I am most certainly not excusing her behavior in the least, but what I am saying is while you nor I nor anyone else can control what she is doing to people, you most certainly can control how you react to it. And if you tell me you can't then you should be arrested because you threatened to kill her on this forum then you said that you cannot control your behavior and you are not responsible for your actions. That is the most childish thing I have ever heard and it will get you no where. It will not resolve this problem for you and you will be miserable until you take control of yourself and how you let this affect you.

And you know nothing about me or my experiences so don't judge me. You think that no one has ever bullied me or made fun of me or tried to take my boyfriend? How do you know I haven't been in the exact situation that you are in? Don't assume. You came here and aired out your dirty laundry for all of us to read and comment on. It is not my fault that you don't like what I have to say. I WAS trying to help you, but apparently you just want someone to agree with you that this person is a bitch and a ****, and poor you. But that isn't going to get you anywhere and it sure as hell isn't going to solve the problem is it?

Sorry but I don't coddle people, or tell them what they want to hear, like I've explained to everyone before. If you don't like my advice or don't want to take it then ignore it, what do I care.

The reason I gave you the advice that I did, is because I have been in EXACT situations as you are currently (and quite possibly worse) and I have reacted poorly, such as I believe you are. And if I could go back and change it, I would. I would go back and do things completely differently each and every time. Because this sounds like me 10 years ago. That is why I know what I am talking about! But of course you probably believe that you are the only person on this entire planet who could have ever experienced anything like this. I really do hope it works out for you, regardless of what you think of me.