i dont know whats wrong

So lately ive been really depressed and i dont know why. My family has been making me so mad with the little things that they do and everyday i fight with my boyfriend over something so stupid. I get jelous more everytime he talks to a girl because i never know if he's lieing to me. I just cant trust him and i dont know why because really he should have trust problems with me since ive lied to him more. I dont know what to do. Everytime we fight i always say i want to break up but i only say that because im scared of him leaving me. I hate the fact that im not as pretty as most girls he knows. Everytime i look at his friends on myspace i see that there all girls that are 100lbs and in there bikinis. Me im not fat but i am a little chubby and he says he doesnt care and i dont think he does but i think my problem is that i care. Also i used to be really really depressed and suicidal and my old friends that have been trying to break me and my boyfriend up ahve been sending me things and telling people that i should kill myself and a whole bunch of bullshit that im just sick of. I just dont know whats wrong with me. Why am i so depressed right now? I just want to break down and cry right now. Im so confused and angry and sad. I dont care if anyone replies to this either because i just wanted to get this out of me because its been bottled up inside me for a while now. Thanks for listening though

 

I don't really know what to say to that... I guess us teenagers have a lot of emotional ups & downs. I sometimes get all fucked off for no reason at all, I don't know why. I guess that's the way it is. I will say this though: Don't be jealous, it doesn't really help. Just try to remove all thoughts of jealousy from your mind, if he's done nothing to deserve it, just chill, if not well then start to worry. And killing yourself doesn't solve anything... believe me, think of everyone who would miss you when your gone.

 

Thanks. I will definatley take the jelousy thing out of my head because i really shouldnt have to worry because he really hasnt done nothing for me to not trust him talking to other girls. Im not going to kill myself either its just sometimes i would hurt myself to take away the pain and ever since april i told myself i would never do it again and so far ive only had two slips but im ok now. Thanks for the advice.

 

Glad you're better but what kind of "friends" were they to say that?!

 

They werent my friends at all. My one friend introduced me to myboyfriend and we got such a strong connection that i just wanted to be with him everyday all day and only see them at night but they got so mad that they would try to hook me up with other people and then they would say things to try and break us up. I hated it. Then i didnt want to hang out with them because all they did was eat and get stoned and get me in trouble with my parents by lieing and they would try to sell me for weed and alcohol by telling the person that i would have sex with them or give them head if they gave it to us so i i told them that i didnt want to be there friend anymore so for the past 3 months they've been hacking into our myspaces trying to break us up by sending us messages saying that i was sick of everything and i didnt want to be with him anymore wich wasnt true so now there stalking me and him by driving by my house and last night they wrote on my window in red lipstick "kill yourself fat ass". But yeah they really werent my friends at all.

 

aww that's just fuckin evle
your better off with out them honey
chin up
it can only get better from here on in
that's what you have to tell your self
peace

 

from teh first post... i think you need to work on solving your own issues, on making yourself happy, before you worry about blaming it on your bf, or workingi relaly hard on your issues with your bf. does your school have a counselor you could see? that can really help som epeople

 

that sums up a lot of it right there.

and i'm by no means saying you're fat because i've never even seen you, but if you are really self consious about it, then do the diet and exercise thing for a while. even if you only lose a few pounds, you'll still be healthier, which makes you feel better, plus even a few lost pounds is a big confidence booster for someone who considers themself to be overweight