I thought you love me (Based on a True Story)

Okay, here's a song I wrote that's based on a true story. Opinions please. The music is basically just E then C powercords during the verse and then e, d during the chorus.

Thanks...

I THOUGHT YOU LOVE ME

I'm just lying in my bedroom
Thinking about your lies
Punching holes in the wall
Dreaming about your eyes

See you by locker today at school
I stared at your eyes with my eyes
Trying to use my mind
To bestow your sweet demise

Chorus:
I thought you love me
But I know it's not true
What does it matter to me what you do?
With people I knew?

Then we're together again
And now we're broken up
I hate you you stupid bitch
You kept my favorite cup

I tried to pray to Jesus
But even he couldn't save me
If he could only know that deep down
I still want you baby (baby)

Chorus:
I thought you love me
But I know it's not true
What does it matter to me what you do?
With people I knew?

My karate sensei teaches me
To defeat the inner foe
But it's so damn impossible
When you act like such a hoe

Chorus:
I thought you love me
But I know it's not true
What does it matter to me what you do?
With people I knew?

 

nice!


especially the chorus

keep up the good work

 

I guess so.

 

Could you write something better?
I think its nice.

 

im not gonna knock u down, kudos on expressing urself

 

as far as writeing goes it is very nice
as far as a song goes i think it could really work but maybe a little short

but still i like it very much