All comments/critiques are welcome. Endless Journeys Change A tree stands high above your head in the middle of a thick green jungle. Animals climbing and scurrying upon its rough bark, the green leaves hiding their presense. A girl stands on your street corner leaning agianst a brick wall the many creatures hidden within dont seem to fase her. She still stands solemn yet a joyful expression, feet rooted into the ground; just one glance at her tells you of her great wisedom reminding you of that great tree that once gave you a place of rest on your constant journey to find a world unlike our own. Both are the structure for that world you have sought your whole life, both strong and full of knowledge; both seeming unfased by the crazy world around them, you find it unfathomable how this acient tree and this inoccent teenage girl can teach you what you must possess to change the journey you have been on for so long.
This is great. I would suggest that you use some spacing, and some punctuation, to assit the reader on where to pause. A couple of your thoughts (I thought) ran together. The poems message is wonderful, and coming from a 15 year old...... that just surprised the heck out of me. This is different for you, as you stated, and I really enjoyed it. Thanks
hi there i love the haunting feel, the longing to grow...and learn you write here like nature..... good luck.. time will tell all in the end.. keep writing keep searching for inner peace.. it will flow like this poem.. lovenpeace from saff. take care
