Did I kind of "rape" her?

Im asking you ladies cause you must know more.

When time when I still was in school, I was in a party. A shy and realy cute little girl went in to a room to get something. I was realy horny and realy drunk, I didnt know what I was doing and I locked the door...
(still virgin and unaturally horny back then).

I kept repeating that we should kiss, et c, and I was realy on to her. So we kissed and I suggested that we should go to the bed. She said no lets go to the others, then I got a little sence back in me, and she locked up the door and went out.
I stayed away from her the rest of the night, didnt want to scare her again.

Did I force myself to be intimite with her? This haunted me and still does.

A couple of months later I met her at a party, this time she was drunk and I sober.I appologized to her and she got this realy sad face.
That image still haunts me. She said it was okay and wonderd if I could find a friend of her, I said sure! Couldnt find her,

Recently I found out that she has got her first boyfriend. This have made it even worse! I know how all of you chicks talk about the first kiss and that it was special e tc. Did I take that away from her in a kiss rape?

Did I rape her or what? The guilt is killing me...

 

close, but from what you said no. Did you threaten her? or anything your not saying?

This reminds me of when I had a friend, almost like a father figure since he was older and I wasn't close to my father at the time, but anyways he smoked some crack, I did not but was present (I never would either, it was a weird circumstance) and all of a sudden he was rubbing my leg and "pressuring me", saying "come on come on" and I think I blocked the rest out of my mind. But I said "No no, I do not feel for you that way". What happened next I'm not so sure to this day, but I either broke lose or he allowed myself to flee, but I ran out of that room and swore up and down he tried to rape me. Did he? maybe if I didn't get away... Or did I overreact? I don't know. But she may be unsure herself.

Do you honestly feel like you raped her? in a kissing manner?

 

kiss rape?!

nah

 

No I didnt threaten her, and I didnt use any force. I didnt even try to scare her but I guess a drunken guy alone with her in a room must have scared her.

I did something realy bad thats for sure, I dont know If I raped her thats why Im asking. I forced myself on her...

 

I think the term you're looking for is "sexually harass". Rape is a very different and specific thing. And there's kinda a fuzzy line between what is and isn't sexual harassment, generally depending on the kinds of things you said and how uncomfortable it made her. Maybe when you're BOTH sober, you can talk to her about it.

 

You are so sweet to worry about that. I've had guys do much, much worse as far as pressure goes, like who DON'T back off when you tell them to stop. Literally have held guys off (with lots of force) or nearly punched them in attempts to make them stop. Now THAT is scary. You stopped when she said to, and you're aware that it may have upset her. Unless she had very negative experiences with guys in the past, I'd be really surprised if what happened had any long-term effects on her.

 

was a creep move that should not be repeated, especially locking the door, but not "rape" and luckily you did get some sense back, other wise you could have done irreparable harm to someone

there is no such thing as "kiss rape" though

 

So it was probably similar my situation.

From a girls perspective it can feel like rape if a man is forcing himself in any kind of sexual manner. But from what you say, it sounds like you were drunk and not intending to do that. So it's probably not along the lines of rape but you should learn from this. Women are pressured all of the time to be sexual in nature and it is intimidating when we don't want to be, ya know more than just a pussy, regardless if others want that and only that, so we can become easily nervous around a man who intentionally or not wants to get it when we are not that interested. Women are raped all of the time. We see it in the news, everywhere, so we are nervous when pressured, which can seem like rape if taken too far. Just be careful. Never lock a door with a woman in a room. That would scare the shit out of me!! That is wrong. But take what happened, and learn. Females need to be respected and feel like they have a choice in the matter. When you locked that door you cut off any respect for her decisions and an escape route if she really wanted or needed out.

 

why did you lock the door?

 

cause I was a drunk horny virgin that was hoping he would get laid.
I did it so that I wouldnt have to worry about people coming in and ruin it when I lost my virginity.

I was drunk and didnt think straight, that maybe a sober girl didnt want to just have sex with whoever.

 

did I make any sense? did I help you?

I hope so...

 

Yes it made me realize that Its worse than I thought...

I cant belive I forced myself on someone, I didnt think I could do anything like that. I feel like a sex offender, wich I am.

I have to look her up one day and appologize propper if I dear that is.

 

good for you for realizing now!! You are, and can be a beautiful human being. I don't understand the male mind on this, if you care to explain, but your beautiful for seeing the problem and moving forward. We all have our hardships dealt to us, but only the best take them to heart and learn. I acted an ass a few nights ago being drunk, but I learn. We all have our challenges and we should all try and overcome them.

I applaud you on that.

 

Alcohol ruin families, it makes people into monsters. maybe you shouldnt drink at all, maybe you should just take some weed?

 

My first kiss was forced and it was awful and I don't consider it my first kiss. I was in sixth grade and this 8th grade boy asked me if I knew how to french kiss. I said no and he offered to teach me. I laughed at him and prob said something ean and he pushed me up against my locked a tongued me. I threw-up I found it so gross (I had no sexual feelings at 11 and no interest in boys).

It doesn't sound like you did the same thing though, unless there is something you are not telling us.
Otherwise you may have pressured her, but you didn't force her.

 

agreed, its definitely not rape but it was an assinine thing to do. but i think that the op is feeling way too guilty about it... i mean, the best you can do is apologize and not do it again . being that pushy is a jerk move but shit happens and there are a lot worse things out there

 

I talked about one time. maybe you shouldn't direct your blame at me? I was just trying to sound human for you guys... like it's okay to have problems... we all do. and those who choose to overcome them should be applauded. too many of us live in denial.

 

Hell, I wouldn't even worry about it.

 

when i was 8 an older boy forced his tongue into my mouth and started rubbing up against me and groping me while i was trapped alone in a friend's yard. i grabbed his nuts and twisted as hard as i could. he was twice my size. once he started screaming and hitting me a neighbor jumped over the wall and chased him away.

your experience doesn't sound the same.

 

Aladdin you fucked up, but most guys have a part of them that could do that, not all of them stop. You didn't rape her but you did put her in an uncomfortable situation, i think she probably kissed you as a way of escaping. Just understand that if your drunk enough you're not going to be able to perceive the chemistry properly and as most men take the dominant role in relationships it is important to get it right.

In future if your drunk and you want to try your chances, do it with words, not actions because that way if you get it wrong you've only made yourself sound a little silly opposed to freaking some girl out.