Love Poem <3

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Freakymetalchik, Aug 7, 2007.

  1. Freakymetalchik

    Freakymetalchik BITCH.

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    It's really unexpected how we
    Wound up together after all this time
    I thought my feelings had gone away
    That I'd moved on, given up any hope
    That you had no feelings for me
    I couldn't have guessed your feelings for me
    But here we are
    I'm calling you, you're calling me
    It's surreal, but I love it anyway

    I'm waiting for your call
    And it's a shock that I am writing this
    A love poem that doesn't make me cry
    And it's about you
    I'm thinking of you, I'm confused
    I hope it works out
    Even though you hate my music
    I hate yours too
    But I love you

    Everyone can laugh at me
    I'm going with a normal kid
    That doesn't spike his hair
    Or hate the world
    But I don't care, you're what I want
    Even though it's all confusing me
    I know I love you
    And I hope you love me too...

    .......Well it's not like my others at all, but you asked for a "happy one", so I gave it a try. I don't think it's good........is it?
     
  2. redyelruc

    redyelruc The Yard Man

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    FMC,

    It's honest and earnest. It doesn't pack the same punch as some of your angrier pieces but that's probably because you have had more practice at writing those. I like it anyway, and it's good practice to write about stuff that you're unaccustomed to writing about. Keep posting.

    Peace,
    Aidan
     
  3. blackheartbitch

    blackheartbitch Member

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    this is happy...i like it even though im used to your vengeful and angry writing style. :)
     
  4. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    This sounds almost more like a journal entry then a poem.
     
  5. Stubb0rnSt0n3r

    Stubb0rnSt0n3r Banned

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    :) Freakymetalchick...
    This poem proves your artistic versatility.
    Ofcourse I enjoyed it. So I say yes, on good poem.

    And it's good to see that you allowed yourself the freedom to realize what also exists, next to the dreary underbelly of one such theme in life.
     
  6. Malapascua

    Malapascua Member

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    I really like this part.
    The poem itself could use a little fine tuning, but I have to say I like what you've done.
    It is 180 degrees away from your usual material. Please continue to mix things up. Write some dark, some light, some love, and some anecdotal, and maybe some observational material. I look forward to seeing it.
    Good job
     
  7. Freakymetalchik

    Freakymetalchik BITCH.

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    Thanks everyone :)
     
  8. Gothika

    Gothika Member

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    Good poem!
     
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