I had to write part of a story, it could be about anything i wanted, but had to be about 800 words, i didn't complete it so i have to over summer that is what i have so far has anybodygot any ideas how to improve or where to go from here. also looking for names of what to call the cafe, any ideas reply to this thread. Tyrone wandered down that dingy colourless street that would be his downfall; not knowing why he got sent there, what was about to happen, or even much about what he had to do. All he knew was he was risking far more than his own life, but never really thought anything of it. It was a rainless starry night, he could hear the unfamiliar noises of the city; police sirens, cars screeching round corners, dogs barking, distasteful music from a night club, youths staggering home paying no respect for people trying to sleep. How could anybody find that comforting? His mind was racing with questions. Why had they chosen him? Why had he been given so little information? Who else knew he was there? These questions and hundreds more unanswered questions were going through his head since he knew he had been chosen. His thoughts were normally so clear, he promised himself after this, he would go on a long holiday, he had worked his whole life for what he believed in, but had he lived a worthwhile one? He started to focus on what he had to, time was of the essence. He looked round and saw he was on the right road via dei panfili, and then he saw his destination chéri café, he could see why people would use this café, there was nothing unique about it, yet it looked reasonably popular, it would be easy to get in with practically no one noticing you, it would be very hard for somebody spying on you, all sorts of people use this place, plus you could blend in with the tourists as this was a very popular coastal resort in the province of Rome. He approached the dimly lit café and stood for a while admire the sheer brilliance of the minds of the people he was dealing with, they had no idea they were about to be part of one of the worst bits of publicity for the US government ever. Tyrone had worked against and been the downfall of so many people in the past, not many lived to tell the tale. “Do not leave anybody alive who might seek revenge against you” this was the motto he had heard countless times, yet it wasn’t doubted by many, most of the people he killed deserved it, but of course there is always a few who just know to much for there own good.
okay experimenting youth dude, heres some feedback ... second paragraph first line ... drop rainless ... it had to be rainless if it was a starry night ... third paragraph ... these questions and hundreds more unanswered questions ... don't repeat questions ... i'd have said ..."these and hundreds more unanswered questions..." fourth paragraph ... Cheri cafe ... Cheri in caps firstly ... secondly how about Cafe Roma? fifth paragraph ... and stood admiring not admire ... last paragraph ... who just know too much ... not to much ... let me know if i can help with anything else jim
"Downfall... Why had they chosen him?" The author is posing these questions, and unless the author has a firm idea who "they" are and what the story line is going to be, the author is in trouble with this. You need to present the story from start to finish. After you've done that, you can refine it, worry about style and character development, and so on. What you've put out so far is nothing but a fragment, so you have to think it through and decide where you're going.
