ok, i just want your all's opinions on this...i was seeing this girl for about 7 months and the relationship for the most part at least seemed great. we were together every day (some may say thats not a good thing and maybe it wasnt), and we did have fun together. we were both extremely affectionate towards each other and had genuine feelings of love, this i do believe. also we had sex on a regular basis. then suddenly things got difrent. i started to notice that she suddenly was wantin to spend time with her friends and stuff (this started like 2 weeks before we broke up). it turns out taht i think she was starting to become interestted in this guy who she worked with. things got shaky so we went on a week 'break', which she wanted moreso than me. during this time i made my love for her very clear and tried to let her know i relaly wanted to be w/her, though tried to give her space. after a week or so we talked and it was pretty clear to me that she was spending a bit of time with the guy. her cellphone banner even said something taht he wrote to her, replacing mine that was on there. she said that she was starting to find things in him that she liked when i asked her, but said that it wasn't too late for us. this wasnt much consolation for me and i pretty much said eitehr we're gonna be together or we're not and she couldn't give me a straight answer saying she needed time, so i pretty much gave up. we ended up breaking up officialy, and from what i heard she started being official with the other guy, though i dont know if they had sex or not. she still wanted to be friends at the time and i didn't because i was too hurt. a few months later my mother told me that she had been calling her crying saying how much she loved me and that i forced her to be with another man because of various reasons. then she comes over to my apartment and pretty much downplays the whole thing between her and the other guy, like they didn't even get together for some time after we broke up (even though it was obvious to me that she more or less left me for him), and said that she would even give me another chance if i wanted. i told her that we couldn't be together, but offered to give her a chance at being friends. that was a month ago, and contact with her has been minimal between us, she never really called me. (though she did have i guess a legit reason not to, she still could have, long story). so today i was feeling very lonely and depressed about a lot of stuff, and called her. she seemed happy to hear from me. we talked, and that was it. Now here's my question...could i take her back? could i do that to myself? on one hand there's pride and hurt feelings, and on the other there's me being lonely and the chance of regaining a loving relationship (though could things ever be the same again after such betrayal?). though i know there are other girls out there i haven't had too much play lately. any input at all would be greaatly appreciated, please. thanks, and sorry for this being so long. btw i'm 20 and she's 18.
I personally think that it's pretty fucked up that she just 'left you' for another guy and then comes back with her tail between her legs. What happened to the other guy? What happened between them that made her come back? Maybe you should talk to her friends about it. Listen, i'm not bein the bad guy here - i'm in a healthy relationship myself but my girl kind of left me and then came back, crying, etc... I personally wasn't that hurt, i did my thing with other girls so it wasn't like i was waiting with my head down. In my opinion, i'd see if you can do it with anybody else, just to see if you CAN. Don't be her #2, and don't don't don't let her back just because you're fucking lonely. Be a man, be the prize, and don't be a doormat. Jesus, i hate how girls dangle sex from a fuckin rope like a monkey with a fishing rod and banana taped to his back, chasing, chasing, never getting. Seriously dude, just take a deep breath and analyze your situation properly. Eliminate all emotions and look at yourself and if you really need the bullshit. She's probably lonely herself, maybe she got dumped and is insecure and in need of someone - anyone. The moment you put her back on that cloud, what's would stop her from giving you the boot again? I'm sorry dude, but that would make you the fool because she would played you for a sucka. That was my only concern, that if she (my gf) pulled that shit off again, then i'd be the fool. I don't mind being cheated on once, because that's life. But twice? That's adding insult to injury. Be your own man dude, hold ya chin up. Go draw, carve, sculpt - be creative. Never, ever look for a girl because you're lonely, but rather - because you are not. Whatever dude, i'm just playin the devil's advocate here. I always believe in second chances but i'm warning you, being played for a fool ain't nothin cool. Cheers
PLEASE READ ALL OF THIS, I know it's long. I'm sorry. I'm gonna try to put a female perspective on this. 18 is a hard age. 19 is too. I remember that all I wanted to do was be young and free, but to be with someone, too. Sounds confusing doesn't it? That's because it is. See, I was dating a guy that I had gone to school with when I was 18 and similar to your situation we were together all the time, almost everyday, and we always had a great time together. He didn't do anything wrong at all, but one day I just started wondering what else was out there. I kind of liked a guy that I worked with at Burger King, but he was getting ready to move to Colorado, so I didn't dump my guy for him, but it got me thinking that maybe I should go back to dating around and seeing other guys. I think it was just that I was 18, you know? Anyway, I wanted to start spending more time with my friends and after about a week of not seeing him, he showed up at my house and I ended up officially breaking up with him. At the time, I thought that it was totally justified. But then a few weeks later I realized that I really did want to be with him, and so I called him to see if we could go out and talk, but he was waiting for his new girlfriend to come over, so needless to say I couldn't have him back. Long story short, when I moved back from Colorado (because I had decided to move out there as a roomate to the guy from work) I called my ex's dad and asked what I should do. He said to talk to George(my ex), so I called on his brithday and talked to him and told him that I loved him. He was still seeing the other girl, but he wasn't as happy with her as he had been with me. Anyway, I decided just to let him be, and a few months later I got together with my highschool crush and he asked me to marry him. George came to see me at work later that month to get me back but by then I was engaged, and now, 3 years later, I am happily married and have a 5 month old son with my highschool crush, and not with George. So here is why I told you that: If she wants another chance, give it to her. If George had given me another chance, who knows what would have happened, you know? But now he is stuck with me in his heart (apparently he's not over it yet, according to an old freind that I ran into) and I am in love with and married to someone else for the rest of my life. So go ahead and see what happens. I try to live by the creed that I would rather regret something that I did rather than something I did not do.
give it another chance.. who knows what will come of it. I don't know if this was both your first relationships. sometimes u need to experience other relationships to know what u've got. but make it clear this is the last chance to make it work. once is bad luck/need to learn.. twice is definitely not workable.
Dude maybe it works a little different the other way around to what sweet_mama but I can guarentee you that this chic does not respect you as a man. Men and women look for different things in each other bud , that's a cold hard truth. You take her back , I promise you you are in for nothing but pain NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS ....don't feel down man , bein loved by a great woman is a fantastic thing , so go out and find one cos this ho aint all dat. Good luck.
I think that because your girlfriend is (im assuming) around the same age as you that being together every day as u said u were is a bit much, which is probably why she was interested in another guy, cos even if you were hanging out wiv one of ur guy friends every day, eventually you'd wanna spend time wiv a different mate rite? its the same sorta thing, doesnt make a difference that its ur gf. but it does sound like she had the time to realise that it was you that she was REALLY interested in. Its completely your decision wot you do, but i think that maybe if you get back together wiv this girl and things are exactly like they were before then at some point it will probably happen again. It might even be you who meets another girl next time tho! who knows. I know its a really hard decision because you obviously really really like her, but you are still young and now is the time to be having fun rather than getting in too deep with someone....its like, at the moment im in a relationship wiv a guy, i really fuckin like him so much and i do love him i think hes wicked but we jus tend to ave a laugh with each other and we dont see each other every day but we talk most days which keeps us up to date...i think maybe your relationship wiv this girl was too much, but if you can explain that to her thats great cos then that will ease the pain for her as well as you...if you get back together then take things easy...thats all i can say..
