not talking to my gf for having cheated on me? best punishment?

ok ok she hasnt really cheated on me since we didnt really go out.
anyway here goes my story, please read and kindly give advice;

a month ago, a new flatmate moved into the other available room. very friendly, very nice girl. after a few days we became really good friends. i'd cook for her, she'd cook for me and stuff. we'd always laugh, make jokes etc..
she had a like a 5 weeks relationship with a guy who hadnt been calling her for 10 days. she was saying that he had probably found another girl or something. according to her friend, she was into the guy but he didnt care about her at all.
after like a week, i realised i really liked that girl. i later found out by her friend that she also really but really liked me. from day one apparently.
i was happy but also unhappy since she was staying in the uk for a month then come back in september for another 3 months maximum.
anyway, then we both started showing our "love" againts each other. touches, smiles, discussions, sleeping together in the same bed almost every night. hugs, going out to clubs, preparing sweets etc..
as the time passed we became more and more close. i could have but didnt even try to kiss her or anything since there was a kinda magic between and i wanted it to happen at a special moment.
after 2 and half weeks of knowing each other and 10 days of what one can call a "relationship", at a very special place and moment we have been kissing each other. it was so lovely..
by the way, i had asked a few times about her boyfriend. she told me many times that she didnt feel anything for him anymore. she didnt even care about him anymore etc.
but then the next evening she went out with her female friends without even telling me anything. next morning when seeing a bicycle at the entrance i found out by her friend that she was in her room with the the ex-boyfriend!
it hurt me so much! i mean ok i wasnt really in love her, but really had strong feelings for her... i always thought she was feeling the same for me. plus, the ex-bf is a complete bastard never caling her. according to her friend, she always liked the ex-bf very much although she knew he was a bastard.
there was like 2 weeks left before she left the london and till then i decided to take the decision of not talking to her or not even looking her in the eyes to show her my anger.
its been a week that i have been ignoring her. she once tried to talk to me but i told her to do me a favour by not talking to me anymore. she then said that she could explain things but i just replied that i didnt wanna hear anything and that i would never talk to her again.

the worst things is that i think i miss talking to her, hugging her etc. she was also a great friend to me. but then come on why has she called her ex?
on her night out, i sent her a text message asking her "if a relationship had started or not between us?" to which she hasnt even bothered replying.

so tell me, im a doing the right thing by ignoring her?

i am actually thining of doing something else, i recently met a really but really beautiful girl with whom i had some fun the other night. i can bring her home one day to make my flatmate jelaous. what do you think?

just one thing, she cant blame the alcohol consumed that night, apparently they tried to go out a night before but he couldnt make it...

 

Sounds to me like you're being really immature. Be upfront with her and stop playing games.

 

I just watched this movie A Little Sex, which deals with this sorta thing in full

the way I see it, basically, after cheating, a relationship is pure anarchy for a bit

you certainly have your rights to get even and torture her
just if you really care about her, I would make sure you be certain it doesn't backfire

but sometimes the best thing you can do is make her hate you a little and know exactly how you feel =P

 

I don't disagree
but after what she did, it's certainly not out of line

 

I agree that she was wrong. I think you should just forget about her. She'll continue to do the same thing. But playing games just prolongs the suffering for both of you.

 

im not immature. its just that i had started to feel something different for a girl for the 2nd time in my life. i mean i knew that our relationship was going no where since she wasnt going to stay here forever..
i repeat again, i wast really in love with in but its just that she broke my heart when calling the guy to meet him. she could have explained me the situation, i would have certainly understood.
i really wanna talk to her. not to hear her stupid excuse but because i still like her. but then, she isnt worth it. she should understand that she cant play with people

 

So your going to solve this problem with more problems? Not talk to her to find the answer? That doesnt make sense. And you are being immature making her jealous, what happened to old fashioned communication? By not talking to her your only pushing her away and more into the arms of her Ex.

 

she wants her ex, but you are available when he is not treating her well. don't be her toy, but you shouldn't really be mad at her. you didn't know her long enough to be mad. be cool with her; just don't be a part of her games.

 

not talking to her is an incredibly childish thing to do. its sulky and petulant

besides, if you dont talk to her shell probably do a similar thing as with the (exish)bf who didnt talk to her for 10 days or whatever and move on, then youll come back and itll piss of hte new persona nd itll be a big giant cycle of idiocy and miscommunication

di dyou two ever declare that you were monogamous, that you were exclusive with one another? if not then how was she supposed to know that this wasnt ok, if you two hadnt declared real relationship status nor monogamy or exclusivity?

 

that's bullshit
it's implied

I don't endorse hitting women but if my girlfreidn cheated on me trying to say that I never said it was a monogamous relationship, all the beauty I see in her would pour out, and I would give her a damn hard backhand to the side of the face

 

Not her fault that you lagged on asking for a commited relationship...I know people had to be really clear with me because if they weren't 100 percent into me I wasn't sacrificing my fun. I don't think she owed you anything since you did not ask for exclusiveness.

 

i don't think your being childish at all. relationship or not she at the very least was a friend and in my opinion friends don't treat each other like she treated you..you have every right to be mad.now she has all these stupid excuses.the only thing good out of this is now you really know what kind of person she is.at this point you can decide whether to keep her in your life or tell her to get fucked.it's good it happened when it did before you did fall inlove with her,now maybe she'll treat guys better and not lead them on.

 

I don't think getting back at her will be good for you cause that kind of stuff grows into full blown hatred.

10 days is not a very long time to know someone. I think you got what you deserve cause you were expecting something from a 2 week relationship that comes out of knowing someone. You can't really know someone in this short amount of time.

Why don't you take responsibility for what you were expecting? Expectations are the road to hell blessed and multiplied....

 

Looks like you're mainly punishing yourself.

 

how the fuck is it implied? he was asking her if they wer ein a real relationship and never even heard back from her! if, in her mind, they were just casually dating then she has the right to date other people

and if someone slapped me or backhanded me just because i spent time with an ex that early on, when we were just casual in my mind, then that fucker would be getting charged for assault and battery

 

I agree. Kinda feminine too. I did something stupid once and the guy I was with said he didn't feel like talking to me for awhile because of it. I said fine and cheated on him and partied my ass off every night. I was certainly not sitting by the phone waiting for his call. If someone wants to ignore me, especially as a way to get back at me I lose all respect. If someone's not man enough to be strong with me I'll walk all over them unintentionaly. So I would really be careful how you go about handeling this considering you still want her.

 

And she'd put your sorry ass in jail. I hate to break it to you but domestic violence is illegal-cheating isn't

 

I remember when they took "obey" out of the wedding vows. When did they put it in the BF/GF vows?

If you don't want to talk with her, that's your choice. But "punishing" is not something one does to a girlfriend, its something done to children.

 

Why and when did they take obey out of the wedding vows? I'm very traditional in my relationship, but I have a ring on my finger. I've really only 'obeyed' who I am with when someone cares enough to propose. I have a VERY strong personality and VERY weak levels of self-control though. Part of the reason I fell in love so fast with my fiancee is because he is the only person I have met who has a stronger personality than me and knows I know it so he doesn't have to be controlling. I can't even think of cheating on him because I am so in love-not because I feel the need to obey him. It's the first time I've wanted to be manogomaus.

 

i would hope she has a father or brother or male cousin or even a male friend to go after you if you ever backhanded her