The Hobo's Life (Ode to a homecooked meal)

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No doorbells to disturb you,​

No keys to lose and swear.​

No mortgages to sweat over,​

No bills to hide or tear.​

​

No redecoration needed,​

No trash to take outside.​

No lawns to go unheeded,​

No neighbours who deride.​

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But it's not all good, this wanderin' life,​

Drawbacks like all great deals.​

No nights in with a darling wife,​

No homeless homecooked meals.​

Please let me know what you think. All comments and criticisms greatly appreciated.........

Peace,
Aidan.

 

its really good, shows both sides the good and bad of hoboland. lol hoboland sounds funny. oops im off track sorry
Annnyway, good poem!

 

no homeless homecooked meals

very profound

 

That's really a fantastic piece. Though I have to ask, does it come from romantic desire, or personal experience?

 

Thanks for reading everyone.

@ FreakyMetalChik
Hoboland, I like it. Sounds like a theme park where the rich and pampered could go for a weekend of slumming it, to experience the other life.

Well, when I was younger I spent a short time on the streets. Anything was better than my family home at the time. But I have been travelling and moving about now for 10 years or so. Lived in a variety of countries, visited many others, and I have to say the one thing I think about a lot is a homecooked meal. Some simple things that most people take for granted are in reality, amazingly important.


Peace,
Aidan

 

Such a lovely piece.

 

Thanks man!


Peace.

 

sometimes simplicity is the best. I liked it.

 

Thanks Instinct.


By the way, I just noticed that the text sort of resembles a keyhole...maybe.

Peace,
Aidan

 

I liked the cliche images, as we do as a world take what we have for granted. Makes you think that you should be happy with what you have and not be so negative. Thanks for your enlightenment, great ending line too. "No homeless homecooked meals"

 

You kind of break the flow of the piece with that last stanza.

I would consider rephrasing or playing around with that first line in the last stanza, it's too bulky and sounds awkward when you read out loud. Specifically the "but it's not all good" part that's not sitting well with me. As for the rest, it's sound great and has a solid, good cadence.