What is your favorite stoned quote?

Haha that one made me "lol" I've walked into glass sliders and screens all the time stoned

 

*sitting on the pavement in the middle of fucking nowhere*

"shit.. how we gonna get back to town?

"fuck.. call a taxi, you do it"

"fine.."
*ringring*

"uhhhhhh... uhh hey mate mate... uhh HAHAH... can i get..uh.. can i get a lift!?"
*hangup*


"shit man.. what the fuck was that, call them back"

 

sweet shrubby: "shit the cops are comin."
snyfin: "tell em i'm baked *laying on ground*"

 

*points at building*
"Hey look theres people there" walking baked in a park behind some public building.
"Lets go!"
*we run back to our smoking spot about 20 yards away*
"hey man lets smoke some more"
*Packs bong*

Seamed so funny the next day

 

"what day is it?"

 

me:"guys where are my sunglassess?!?"
kayla:"on your face"

 

The Pot Paradox:
An empty bowl needs to be filled!
Yet
A full bowl needs to be emptied!

 

"hey is there any cereal left?"
"yeah there's a shit load."

i look into the cabinet and there's no more cereal
"what?"

 

"dude"

 

"what if dinosaurs were still alive"

"where? like in the jungles?"

"no like in cities where we have them all tamed"

"you can't tame dinosaurs"

 

"um...what?"

 

"pack another... dude, come on... wake up"

 

"officer, I was just waiting for that stop sign to turn green"

 

lmao

 

Im pretty buzzed right now and every single one of these has me giggling like a schoolgirl.

I'm sure I've heard many hilarious things when stoned but I'm struggling to remember much at the mo. Quite often one of my friends says in a stereotypical stoner voice 'Hey man, you're harshing my buzz' which is actually quite annoying.

 

"That's Cool" or "Wow Man"

 

"dude, who moved my house."