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Devils Bit

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by jim kirby, Jul 19, 2007.

  1. jim kirby

    jim kirby Member

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    ...........
     
    jim kirby, Jul 19, 2007
    #1
  3. Psychedelic Bones

    Psychedelic Bones Member

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    Man, I really like this. I like it when I'm being told a poetic story, and I enjoy it's dream-like setting. Very good descriptions. I enjoyed reading this very much
     
    Psychedelic Bones, Jul 19, 2007
    #2
  5. jim kirby

    jim kirby Member

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    thanx very much psychedelic bones ... glad you enjoyed it ... i also prefer poetic story to prose or blank verse.
     
    jim kirby, Jul 19, 2007
    #3
  7. Clockwork Purple

    Clockwork Purple Member

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    I like this one. It attempts to flow rather musically, but the flow could be smoothed with a little punctuation editing. For example:

    Line 2: Of a woman I'd seen in a black-as-night cloak
    Line 54: I felt weak, so alone, and afraid,

    ...just at a cursory glance.

    Cheers,
    CP
     
    Clockwork Purple, Jul 20, 2007
    #4
  9. jim kirby

    jim kirby Member

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    many thanx for your input
     
    jim kirby, Jul 20, 2007
    #5
  11. Freakymetalchik

    Freakymetalchik BITCH.

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    i really like that poem, its expressive :)
     
    Freakymetalchik, Jul 23, 2007
    #6
  13. jim kirby

    jim kirby Member

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    many thanx sweetheart ... luv your hair ... hare kirishna
     
    jim kirby, Jul 23, 2007
    #7
  15. Freakymetalchik

    Freakymetalchik BITCH.

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    thank you, i love my hair too! :D lol
     
    Freakymetalchik, Jul 23, 2007
    #8
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