I have known that I am gay my entire life , and have never wanted to come out. I feel that life will be so much gharder out of the closet. So i just act like I'm straight i go out with girls, and pretty much lie all the time. The only person that I have ever come out to was one of my ex-girlfriends. This was only because she was saying that being gay was a choice and I thought that I would prove her wrong. I would have never came out to anyone if it wasn't for that. I feel so weird though not having anyone know my secret, but I dont wanna take the risk.
It's a personal choice and it's extremely hard to do. I haven't done it myself, although I plan to some day. It might be harder, but on the other hand it might be easier, if you're tired of pretending to be something you're not. I can't blame you for telling your ex-girlfriend. That really bothers me when people say things like that. It's so ignorant of them to think that, when they don't even know, they just assume. If it were a freakin choice I sure as hell wouldn't have picked it because it makes lots of aspects about life harder and more complicated.
Scumbagginit, Find somebody, somewhere that you can drop all the lies with and just talk about who ya are. Droppin this out on the net is a start. There are lots of safe people to talk to , find 'em. Keepin' the lie inside can do some real damage to ya. Nobody needs to live in pain and shame simply for being who they are. Good luck bud, hope things work out for you.
Yeah well I am also in my mid-teens, so coming out now could mean losing friends, and people are very immature.
People are very immature, yea...but true friends don't desert each other no matter what. Only surround yourself with people who care about "you"
That is sort of the way I felt when I was younger. "I'm never coming out!", I thought to myself. I figured I would just have secret relationships with other guys and nobody would have to know. Well, that didn't exactly happen. For me it became virtually impossible to meet another guy and as such I've been single for most of my life. I'm 21 now and I had became so very weary of having to hide who I am that I just decided not to give a shit if anyone knows I'm gay or not. Doing it has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. One of my big fears was that I'd lose friends and people would treat me differently. Those fears, as I eventually found out, were unfounded. If anything I'm so much closer to the people I've told. I haven't had a single negative reaction yet. I'm planning to tell my parents in August when they get back from their vacation and I think they'll be okay with it. Sure they'll probably be shocked initially but I'm sure they'll come around with a bit of time. I just became tired of it when my guy friends would talk about women and then be forced to make up lies to hide who I really was. The local newspaper has a picture of a sexy girl every day and of course the guys would see it and say things like "She's hot, don't you think" and I'd either say "Yeah, I guess" or "She's not really my type" (not technically a lie . In any case I just hated being uncomfortable about it. I get tired of visiting relatives and they ask me "So, do you have a girlfriend yet?" I get tired of hearing my parent shave conversations like, "When you're married and have kids..." I'm especially tired of being lonely. I can finally go to a gay bar and just be comfortable in that environment. I can finally meet other guys and other guys can meet me now that they know I'm gay. I guess I could have a "girlfriend" but nothing would ever happen between us and I would yearn for a guy. It would only be a front. I would be unhappy. So.. That's my story. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would tell anyone. But that changed. I got sick of hiding who I was. You'll probably get sick of it too. When? Who knows. Everyone is different. You worry that your friends will leave you or that things will be different? It is unlikely. If they suddenly don't like you because you're gay then they were never really your friend. I think once you finish school, coming out will seem like more of a possibility. School and real adult life are completely different socialogically. Being popular in regular life doesn't really mean much when school is done so people aren't as worried about having their style cramped. Most won't mind. Anyway, I agree with yarapario. If you know someone you trust and believe that they will be okay with it, tell them if you are comfortable. It is such a relief to just be able to talk about it with someone, even if it is only one person. Talking about it here is a good first step though. Most importantly, if you ever do decide to come out, make sure you are ready to do it. Don't feel pressured. I sure hope that you don't feel pressured by my reply because that was not the intent. Good luck with life. I hope you are happy in whatever way you choose to live it.
Please come out, that way you have a chance of a happy lifestyle. Do not continue to use or lie to these young womyn in an attempt to lead a hetrosexual lifestyle. You may be able to fake it for a while but, why live your life in that manner. You, like everyone deserves a chance at happiness. Coming out is a difficult thing to do. You must find acceptance within yourself. You did not mention where you live but, there are numerous gay organizations which will provide you with assistance. Consider the numerous sources that you are able to contact on-line, if none are close to your area. One of the best organizations to contact is Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). Do not forget it may take a bit of time to receive acceptance from some family members however, your real friends will never abandon you. Good luck in your journey to self acceptance.
