Heard: One of my buddies lying to some girl, that his mom died, yes it worked, but not for long as his mom ended up showing up at the mall where he was with the same girl.
thats great! i once told a guy i couldn't call him because my phone number got changed and i couldn't call people from other companies
When I was 16 I had this girlfriend who liked to go shopping a lot so we would go very often. Me and her were in a clothing store called Dillards. And even if you just walk in there these people fucking hound you(or they did at the time) trying to sell you clothes and wont let you look in peace. I told them we were just browsing, and they were like What are you browsing for, I said nothing in particular, and they kept on and on and I was like ok I am looking for a pair of Khaki shorts. So they took me over there to the section and all they had was like old people golf-er type khakis. And I said I dont want anything like this and laughed and it made them mad and was like why whats wrong with these, I said we have to go, and they were like well come over here and look at this selection. And I said look, we have to go, I am a devout Christian and me and my girlfriend have to attend an easter program at our church, so you are keeping us away from Jesus. They apologized and we laughed our asses off on the way out. I'm not a xtian and she just didnt care about religion.
Oh I thought of another one. I was in Books a Million with my Girlfriend's brother. We were looking at the art section which is right next to the new age section. I picked up a Satanic Bible and laughingly showed it to him. About this time these stoners walk up, the dudes eyes are so bloodshot its unreal. He says"so you like the satanic bible" I said no we were laughing at it. And he goes on this soapbox about satanism and the occult and a bunch of shit I already knew. And I said I dont like any of this shit. I was born and raised Jewish. He was like oh man I am sorry, so do you read the Torrah much. And I was like yeah and we walked off laughing.
i think the best lie i have ever heard is the existence of god, or that bush won the election, or that people are generally smarter than monkeys, or that the media is for the people, or that cigarettes cause cancer...there's actually many good ones out there
americans have freedom of speech, thats one of the best, i just watched a documentary called fuck its amazing everyone should check it out. if there is freedom of speech what about the fucking fcc?
freedom of speech implies you are allowed to get your message accross, FCC tries to make you do it politely.
