I was dating a girl very seriously for about three months. About a month ago, I found out she was taking all these pills. And I knew she was hanging around with zombie-type people. I asked her to quit the pills, and she said she would. This past week, I found a bunch of valium, vicodin, and soma in her medicine cabinet, as well as a crack pipe in her closet. Of course I freaked out, demanding to know why she needed to lie to me. She didn't even apologize or care in the slightest. I guess we are through. Is it normal for people who are taking these pills to lie a lot? Or not care that the ones they love care about them? Am I a stiff for thinking it's wrong to take all these pills to hide from your emotions? How can you know the beauty of a kiss if you can't know the devastation of a broken heart? It hurts that I tried to give her my whole self, and she was lying behind my back about drugs, and who knows what else. She won't even talk to me. I'm just super hurt right now, and if anyone can offer some advice or some kind words, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks!!
I'm sorry. I've been through this, too. My ex was a drug addict. And every single thing out of him was a lie. He was blaming it all on everyone else he lived with and making excuses for why he "had to" take something for this or that. He was even a pot dealer at one time. To top it all off, he was with someone else at the same time he was talking me up, and he loved her with all of his heart, but only because she is his supplier. There's nothing wrong with needing someone in your life who isn't into drugs and all of that. I mean right now, there's a guy who wants to hook up with me who loves to party. I'm just not into that. I would rather have a quiet night at home with the person I like/love. I don't want to go and det high and wasted and do something stupid. That's not my idea of fun. Let her go if you haven't already because in most cases the only thing a drugg addict can think about is thier next score. You're just going to be in the way and end up hurt. I'm so sorry.
Dude, perhaps she's got an addiction? If so, it's going to take more than simply saying, "Sure hon, I'll quit" to break it. I'm sorry you had to go through all that and I'm sorry you're hurting right now. But I hope you don't feel so sorry for yourself that you no longer have compassion for her. If she is, in fact, an addict then she's suffering - whether she knows it or not, whether she admits it or not. All that being said, only she can help herself unfortunately. You chose to end it; that's perfectly understandable. Now all you need to do is heal and move on. I can only hope that someday your ex will finally be able to break her addiction.
Thanks for talking to me about this. I'm not a saint. I smoke weed, eat some psychedelics every few months or so, but I just don't understand why someone would want to sedate themselves on a daily basis... she doesn't have a key to my house, or any access to my credit. The really worst part is that if she called me right now and apologized, I would be gullible enough to welcome her back with open arms. I guess I'm just a sucker, at least I feel like it...
Thanks for the kind words and friendship, all of you. It feels better just knowing that someone is listening. It hurts to know that she doesn't even know or care that she has a problem. To her, it's no big deal I guess. I guess that's what happens when you surround yourself with people who think it's ok too.
even though you have only been with her a short time it always sucks when someone is not being honest but that usually is the drug talking....i was addicted to pills for years because i had such good access to them it was very easy to get addicted,,,, i evntually had to quit my job to become sober it took me a while but i did it..i don't usually turn down a pain pill or muscle relaxer but i have change my ring of friends so that the pills are harder to come by..she did not choose the drug over you the drug choose the addiction over you.because if your relationship was so intense you could talk to her and try with diligence to seek help for her....
She doesn't want my help, she doesn't think it's a problem. And maybe it's not. She thinks I'm blowing it way out of proportion, and maybe I am. I just don't understand it maybe? She won't talk to me on the phone, she will just answer an email here and there... It hurts so badly that she doesn't want to work with me on this, not even want to help me understand why she thinks she needs to take them...
She has no justification for why she needs to take them. Maybe that's why she isn't telling you anything. Do you think you're blowing this out of proportion? I think you have valid concerns, and that you deserve some kind of answers.
I agree with you 100% that my concerns are valid. But to her, they're not. And I guess that's what really matters, because I can't make her understand something that she refuses to.
