I'd feel alot more easy about the whole coming out process if I knew that I wouldn't be expected to act like the stereotypical gay guy from then on. I know that some stereotypes aren't true, but when I tell someone I'm gay I don't want them to automatically assume that I should talk effeminately or that I dress up in drag on weekends. I think of myself as a pretty masculine person, and the thought of the stereotypical gay guy is kind of a turnoff... I mean, I pretty much want to stay the way I am now, except be free to have relationships with other guys. Does any of this make sense?
that all makes sense bro. Unfortunately you dont have too much control over other peoples reactions. You be the Gay man that you want to be -let other people worry themselves over stereotypes. Its their problem.
yep, but the answers simple, don't act like the sterotype! you might get a few snide comments but just brush them off and get on with being you S
If you are going to come out, just be you. Don't change, and if people expect you to act like that, you can show that you aren't going to be part of a stereotype. If anything, it's going to show you who your friends are, and it's going to show them that you'll still be the same person.
Like everyone else said, be yourself. One of the things that worried me was that others would think I was going to change and start acting effeminate, talk a certain way, walk a certain way, etc. One of the more satisfying parts of coming out was letting it sink in for a bit and having them realize that I'm still the same person. It also another person that will see GLBT people differently. Before I came out to certain people, I'm certain they thought every gay guy was your stereotypical one and now they've come to realize that gay people vary just as much as straight people. I also hope it made them think, "Hey, if an ordinary guy like Ian is gay then that could mean that anybody I know or see on a regular basis might be gay!" Being yourself is more than just making yourself happy, it changes the way people see GLBT people for the better. The more people out and being themselves will hopefully yeild more acceptance from others. Good luck on coming out!
hey dont feel left out... im in the same situation as urself. im still on the DL and ive only told one person. to everyone else im still straight and the thought of coming out is a lil depressing, cus i defenetly dont want to fall under any stereotype, cuz like u said it is a turnoff.... but yea once i come out if i ever decide to do so, im just going to be myself. why try and be something else u dont want to be? forget about what society wants you to be or about what other ppl want!! its all about onself and one's own happiness.
Thanks for all the replies, they're really helping alot. Coming out on this forum felt alot better than I thought it would, but then again I guess I've kinda been in a state of shock for the past few weeks since I realized I was gay. I'm still at war with myself tho, I'm supposed to "act myself" after coming out of the closet, but I realized that I haven't acted myself since I was a little kid, and I have no idea who I am anymore. I know that sounds kind of emo, but i'm really feeling it right now... :nopity:
Huh, I never thought about it from your point of view. I've always known I was gay my whole life. I guess it must twist your brain when you've only realized it a few weeks ago. I can't imagine how hard it must be to be yourself in that situation. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't try and fit stereotypes just because that's what people expect you to be. Anyway, welcome to the forum. Enjoy your stay.
just do waht you want. if youre gay, come out, and just do wahtever youve always done. the gay stereotype, as most stereotypes, if not all, si totally inaccurate, nad its rare taht ive met a cliche gay guy. id just say stop worrying about it. youre not gonna suddnely start talkingw ith a lisp and wearing pink handbags just because you came out!
