i dont know whether i am gay or not and its really starting to bug me. I recently sort of came out to a good friend of mine when i was drunk (who told me that she thought she was gay as well which was unexpected) since then i have been on the verge of telling more people but ive been sort of questioning myself . Some days i think im definatley gay and that i should come out, others im just not 100% sure and feel glad that i havn't, but i think that might just be sort of nerves. im in a sort of limbo at the moment. I think that my biggest worry is coming out and then a year down the line thinking " oops, maybe not" and regreting my decision. I have had realtionships with girls in the past and all my friends (all straight boys and girls) are convinced im straight but ive never really been able to convince my self and have never really been attracted to women that much and always felt like a bit of a faker. I recently came out of a 3 year relationship with a girl and looking back on it i dont think that i ever really loved her properly and can see that it was probably a mistake. But when we broke up she said some quite hurtfull things about me and i don't know weather this is why recently i have generally been trying to avoid sexual encounters with girls, or weather its because im gay, or both! Part of me for as long as i can remember has thought that i might be gay but ive never really chosen to address this until recently. Even my mums has said to me that she always thought that i was, and has actually asked me if i was several times, to which i answerd no. im just really confussed and im having loads of problems trying to sort all this out in my head, and its kind of helped writting it down actually. I just want to get it all sorted so i can get on with my life. i'd a appreciate your 2 cents, cheers for reading.
i understand. i am kinda going through a similar thing. my last relationship ended a bit badly. i am trying to work out if i just dont trust boys anymore. or if i am gay. its hard. i empathise. i am just talking to some people that i trust and just letting some time go. i guess it doesnt really matter anyhow.
im in the same position to. but ive told all my friends and parents already, becuase before that i had it bottled inside for like 3 years. but now im worried i might not be, and it had occured to me "I think that my biggest worry is coming out and then a year down the line thinking " oops, maybe not" and regreting my decision." and actually it would probly be a pleasent surprise to my parents if i told them i was straight lol. do you only look at gay porn? or think about men while masturbating? these were kind of deciding factors in my mind.
its predominatley gay porn that i look at yeah but not all, lesbian porn does not do anything for me at all tho. yeah and it is mostly men i think about whils masturbating. I dont find girls unnactractive but i suppose its trying to seperate the way in which you can tell when a girl is attractive and weather you your self are attracted to her. When i actually sit and think about it now i can see my self falling in love with a man more than i can see my self falling in love with a woman. like i said earlier i did have a girlfreind but there did always seem to be this invisible wall between us that sort of stopped me really actually loving her. And me being gay was sort of always in the back of my mind. for me to come out would be quite shocking for my fiends and some of my family and once its said you kind of can't go back on it so im no finding my self completley over analysing everything.
Why label yourself? Can't you date a guy to see what it's like? Float in the middle for awhile? I don't see anything wrong with that : ).
