Where does the pain end and the suffering begin... The crucks of the situation, I can't spell, and I can let it out.......I love letting it out but can I take it all back in? where can I find enough storage to gargle my disgust and watch and listen as I have it slowly spill out of my mouth, over my lips Can I be fed enough from what I see others experience, I drag myself down to experience it with them, How could I refuse, I love it when people refuse me, it leaves a lasting patch to be claimed I must claim it, it does it perfect justice I smell like absolute shit, I might eat it next time it appears I have heard the place called a gas chamber.....It reminds me of fun video games I used play and get very angry at when I lost......where's the freedom in that I shouldn't lose....I am king I need humility......... Have I ever heard myself speek, no.... I'm way to disgusted, alow me to indulge ever more where is this place, what is these people, my sight is goininng ooawlll slanteyd..... I go cross eyed after huffing lawnmower gasoline Where is my talent today I like to wear my sunglasses with a hat can I ride a dirt bike too? I'm still disgusted,,,, but it's harder a slight change in what happens but I've been on a binge to strong to realize it and take action why am I here I have been aske dthis, I've heard others ask this....... I can't bare exposure,,,, What would they think of me. It's just not Right I SAY! DAMN Civilized! That's the way we do..... What is it we do, I have lunch in an hour.... and then work, but no humility.................... TOO many periods, undefined, but that all doesn't matter, I love life all of a sudden I shall rob someone, perhaps a house, maybe a town, a small village somewhere, I can't believe I"m told I'm gay and disfunctional, who said that? I did an hour ago, they all thought I was insane then my eyes went cross eyed how do they do it, I don't know But I must find out....... Where am I, and how far will I be gone before I realize some silence and reflection cleans this dirty mess in one afternoon with it all put back right again...... That's a list of things to intelligently avoid in the future, Applaud my grace, I am humanity....... But I'm still moving, now please, move better, with me.
Your prose poem has some interesting images, but I can't find a message here, except maybe "I'm told I'm gay and disfunctional...". It sounds like a cry for help. There was a young fellow named Lorne Who wished he had never been born. He wouldn't have been If his parents had known That the tip of the condom was torn.
That's kool, what actually inspired this was a conglomeration of other posters on this forum, so I decided to watch the flow. Thanx for your input. ...Oh one more thing, I think you need to check your post, this is the WRITERS Forum, not the POETRY Section. And thus, I did not wright this out to be a poem, more a converged massing of passing stimulae of the brain. You should try it some time, you know achieve some clarity so you don't systematically train yourself to lash out at people. That's how free speech dies slowly and silently. Peace.
I suppose there are ways in which you could get the whole 'posters collage' thing to work, but in this case, I don't think it was very successful. If you hadn't mentioned that that's what it was intended to be, I would never have guessed. From the get-go, the opening line is rather off-putting... is there supposed to be some kind of difference between pain and suffering? I'm already not sure what you're trying to say... and that confusion pretty much continues throughout the whole thing. For this kind of writing to be engaging for the reader, you need to provide some clues as to what it's all supposed to mean, or how the readers are supposed to be taking it. Other lines are somewhat more interesting, but there's really not enough connection between them to leave any kind of lasting impression. As it is, I don't even understand why you're calling it 'The Nexus Point'. My advice is that you should really be trying harder to reach the reader as opposed to generating some obscure effect that no one will be able to get.
Ya know, I guess it might be better deemed as, "A messy Break!" Perhaps that evens it out a little bit.
it is like the work of someone who thinks a lot but doesent write very often but wishes they did. I know this because I am like that as well
haha, that is the sentiment. I myself write plenty, more than I read which is no good, as my dad composed a very effective reading list for me. I'm on gullivers travels right now. Again, this was a reflective presumption on the lack of cojones I see in many here who write, as if they need some knocking to write themselves into their prime. That's the great thing about free speech forums. To embrace, not errode. And once again, thanx to the crators and maintainers of this such. Peace.
The limerick was meant to get you to laugh a little, but somehow you got offended instead and told me poetry isn't allowed here. Maybe you should consider the statement "achieve some clarity so you don't ... lash out" with regard to yourself.
