my first ever writing I showed someone

Explanation:
I looked a long time on the net to find somewhere that wasnt too snobby and too posh to post. I had a bad experience with a site where they were all professors and doctors who write and their work is good but borin. I posted mine and they ignored it really except one who just ask if I got a degree yet !

anyway I heard about this thing called subjectivity where thats the way the world is just to you and nobody else and so I wanted to write about the way the world is to me and nobody else and if I am honest I learned I think the world is a sad and strange place so nobody else in the world could say thisand see it was true

its called : it really is this way if you are me

My dad was the greatest man who ever lived. I never met a man in my life who was more significant. I saw him plane wood and watched as he drilled, with a mechanical hand drill, not electrical, through the join to embed a dowel. He hated embedding dowels, he thought it was not the way a master craftsman would do it but he did it because, not often, not really very often at all, he sometimes cut the join a half milimetre or a millimetre too big. normaly his woodwork was so good he needed no glue, nor nails, nor screws he considered himself not to be a craftsman but somewhere close.

When my father died suddenly the world was too big. The word became an emptier place. When he was alive there was no space between the trees and the sky there was always someone I could phone and then there was nobody I trusted to tell me the truth about 3/16th drill bits and 5/8ths gas taps and how my door frame should be constructed and whether I was buying the right car and if my garden needed topsoil and I really had to remember hard all he said about everything. yes the world really is an emptier place without him, you reading this dont know at all.

When we buried him it was a sad affair and I told my sister that thought I had I said "how this all feels to me is like without him this world is emptier its an emptier place" band she just said "don't" and did that thing where the breathing becomes stuttered and you know someone is gonna cry and she walked from the room to cry. You know the day he died the whole world was filled with meaning and something like meaning I cant put my finger on it but it was something to do with understanding a whole lot more

thats as far as I got with that but I would really like to work at it and make it better and longer how do I do that

 

You'll read this and say, here's another professor throwing the same old crap at me. But I think with a few pointers, you can improve so that your reader can really hear what you're getting at. Norman Mailer can get away with run-on sentences, but the average writer can't.



Let's take

normaly his woodwork was so good he needed no glue, nor nails, nor screws he considered himself not to be a craftsman but somewhere close.​

This needs to be broken into two sentences:

Normally his woodwork was so good he needed no glue, nor nails, nor screws. He considered himself not to be a craftsman but somewhere close.


​

Note the spelling correction -- "normally". Most of your readers won't take you seriously if you have any spelling errors. Always check a dictionary when you're not sure.

As you know, every sentence begins with a capital letter and ends with a period. At the end of a paragraph, it sometimes helps to write a sentence that leads on to the idea of the next paragraph.

You may have a community college close by, and they may have a course called 'English Composition", "Introduction to Writing", or something similar. You may ask to audit a course, that is, take the course without being enrolled in a program or asking for a mark. If you do that, the fee for the course will likely be small, or it may even be free. It never hurts to ask.

 

Thank you. I know you are right, and I need to take better care over spelling and grammar. Partly this crappy keyboard is to blame and also I have blurred vision unless I have my contacts in so I sometimes miss a spelling mistake or two and other times I thnk there is a full stop or a comma but its just the blurred edge of a letter.

Ok but what did you think of what I was saying

 

We all have to deal with grief when parents die. Part of this grief is a huge feeling of aloneness, now that father or mother is no longer living after us. This can happen even when we are well into adulthood. You express your feelings of grief quite well in this short piece. I look forward to your next effort.