Hello everyone... this happens to be my first post, but I've been lurking about the forums for a while now. anyway, ive got myself into quite an emotional mess I guess you could say over an ex girlfriend of mine. some background... we dated a couple years ago for 11 months and it was great. It was my first true love I believe. It ended over something stupid that I did plus some things she did. Fast forward to about February of this year and she just calls me up randomly. We talked on the phone and such for a while and then went out, had sex, all that good stuff. I thought we were getting back together. Well things didnt work out again and we didnt see each other again after that. I should note that she has some "baggage" as well. Quite a few insecurities I guess. Part of the reason we broke up. She was constantly trying to make me jealous, but not being a jealous person it didnt work at all. A few weeks ago she called me up at random and we had a short awkward conversation and didnt talk again until a few days ago when I called her. I just had to because I can't stop thinking about her. 15 minutes doesnt go by without me thinking about her. So when I called her she seemed happy to hear from me and we made plans to get together. well naturally she flaked out on me today when I called her before I was to pick her up. She has a history of doing that. Im just getting such fucking mixed signals. As I said, she has some baggage, but I dont care. I've never felt like this about a girl before and it just drives me crazy that I can't be with her and that shes fucking with my head like this. I don't know what to do... continue playing "the game" or just forget about her completely.. even though I don't think I can. If this was any other girl, I would just say fuck it, but I really have feelings for this girl and I think she does for me too, shes just apprehensive. I really dont know. I hope all of that made sense, I had to take some valium so im a little loose. Should I keep pursuing this or just let it die and try to stop thinking about her..?
talk to her about how you feel....thatd be my suggestion....if she doesnt care about how you feel then she doesnt care about you...
thanks for the replies I guess I should just be completely straight forward with her. She may actually expect me to just be straightword with her since we know each other so well. So I guess she could actually think I want us to just be friends.
with love comes honesty and i believe you love her so be honest with her and tell her that ypu are contemplating whether pursuing the relationship because of her insecurities.
ive gone thru something like this before...u need to talk to her about it be completely blunt and straight forward...if she cares about wat u have to say then she must have the same feelings u have for her.
I can really relate. Maybe she really loves you & she's messed up & that's getting in the way. Tell her what you feel, what you need from her, & why it's important - OH - and *ask* her, kindly, without blame, why she cancelled (or what ever), and what's going on in her head when she gives mixed signals. Here's something useful - when she says something that's important to her - repeat it out loud, ie "so, you're afraid I've forgotten you when I don't call on time" (or whatever). & if you do it, you can ask her to do it when you say what's on your mind & in your heart. THis way you learn to accept & just accept the other person's truth without judgeing it. I'm almost about to give up on my s.o. I can't figure out how to reach him. He takes me for granted & I can't stand it. Part of me says - nope, he's fallen out of love with you & that's it. But the other part says no, he loves you, he just has no way to express what's really inside. He's been drinking more lately, too. This guy - I thought he was going to be my One True Love, & actually, a big part of me believes that he is, but I may still have to let it go. I'm really only just starting to deal with the sadness of this. I really hope, if its what you want, that you & this girl make it.
