Parents and smacking their children

Wow. After the awful description of what was done to your and your brother, what was done to your freinds? Hit with metal chains? It always makes me so angry to see and know that people can be so abusive to small children.

If HITTING (and that is ALL it is, the word "spank" sounds cute to make abusive parents feel better about what horrid things they are doing to their children) worked, no parent would ever have to HIT more than once. And they do have to, again, and again and again and again.

The worst is the look on some parent's faces when they are hitting a child. I have seen almost sexual joy from the act. It makes me want to vomit. I grabbed a man's hand at the mall once, who had this look on his face when he was hitting his kid. My dh thought he was going to hit me, So what? THAT would be illegal. But, there was the fucker, hitting his kid, with a belt he BROUGHT WITH HIM, attached to his own belt, getting a hard on, from hitting his kid. I grabbed his hand and just said, "DON'T." security came and led the man and the child out of the mall. Jesus.

 

Well I was joking around with you and I didn't make that clear. So when you didn't totally bite my head off I was pleasantly surprised. Not to mention you make a lot of really good points. I Wish I had the intellect that you do when I was your age.

 

To each there own. Still though I think that you all are in the minority. Spanking has been comonplace for 100's of years. Not that being in the minority makes you wrong. As a matter of fact I don't think that there is a right or wrong per say.

 

I definitely don't believe in "smacking", but had occasion with our five daughters, in their very young years, to give them tangible reminders to listen to my words, and do what I say. I found this important to insure their safety as they were growing up. When I said they should not go near the busy street, and they did, I would give them a consequence that was uncomfortable enough to make them think twice about venturing into the street again. If we were in a crowd, I wanted them to stay close, if I said so. I didn't ever discipline anyone in public, and found that once they knew that they could be punished for willfull disobedience, infractions of my rules seldom occured. If I told them to stay somewhere, or go somewhere, to ensure their safety, and they didn't respond properly, I would consider physical punishment to teach them to "listen to my words". I would have been so afraid to take them in the world of danger, if I hadn't been sure that they took me seriously. I have seen children who don't listen to their parents, and I would not want to be in that circumstance, when it came to their safety. I don't want to talk and talk and talk about things, and found a little physical discomfort was often all that was necessary to instill appropriate behavior. I considered it the ultimate act of love, and they knew love came in many different forms, and were not traumatized by it at all.

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This was not "smacking", which seems more like frustated anger, and striking out. I talked about the actions,and talked about the consequences, and I know that not one of them felt abused. So, I guess I am saying that I think that not all physical punishment is completely unreasonable, or unwarranted.

 

when i was a kid my pops used to fuck me up when i slipped, i hated him for it then but got older and realized why he did it... He always told me what i did wrong, why i was getting hit, and how to avoid it from happening again... and it only makes me love him even more.. its decipline. plain and simple.. deal with it.

 

I got the shit beat out of me when i was growing up and i turned out just fine!!!! Now that i am older i understand why it was for MY OWN GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Depeneds on the kid. Me, you yell at me and I'll kill myself before you get to touch me but my brother, if ever there was an award for the most hard-headed, idiotic, individual, I think he takes the cake :lol: My point being, some kinds need the living piss beaten out of them to learn and some kids only needs a little, "cut it out!"

 

well i dont believe in smacking kid (even tho my dad smacked me around quite a bit and still does) but i dont think u shud baby them to much when they get hurt either you dont want them to think a scraped knee is the end of the world

 

i dont think believe in smacking your kids around. why do it. i hate that.

 

i just don't understand why you would hurt a child. and your own child at that.

i would never allow myself to hit my children, if and when i have them.

 

Smack your children, if they deserve it. It seems to me that all my friends without disipline(SP) are idiots. HIT YOUR KIDS!!

 

I dont think smacking your child is a solution. There are other ways of getting your child to listning without insulting them.

 

In the US, spanking and insulting are two different things.

 

it is child abuse.

it shows that you have little respect for your child, and when you dont respect your child they grow up having little respect for others.

words are stronger then actions alot of the time.

listen to the child and the child will listen to you.

peace and love people, peace and love.

blessings
xxx

 

As stated earlier, I disagree. People that were spanked growing up had more respect for their elders, and are more successful in life.

 

Arms grabs are the worst, they piss me off more than anything. If someoen ever hits me, its easy for me to just laugh it off, but when an authority figure grabs my arm and starts lecturing me, I have to spend 1-3 hours (depending on wether or not the person was screaming, or talking) i alone venting.

 

To this day, my parents believe that what they did to me and my siblings was valid discipline and we deserved it. Hitting three children with a leather strap, a plastic coathanger, a pingpong paddle, a wooden spoon, a spatula, or even your hand is NOT discipline. It is abuse.

Why is it that if adults hit each other it's assault, but if they hit a small, weak, innocent child it's ok? Hitting is NOT ok. No matter who's hitting. No matter who's getting hit. Hitting is ALWAYS WRONG.

I am constantly getting comments about how outgoing and well-behaved my almost-3-year-old is. He listens to me, says please and thank you, shares, and is very sweet. I have never laid a hand on him in anger. When he does something wrong, I explain to him WHAT he did wrong, WHY it was wrong, and WHAT to do instead. The only thing hitting teaches it that it's ok to hit when you're angry and it's ok to hit people that are smaller than youl. It doesn't teach the children why their actions were wrong and what to do instead.

 

i smack my little sister around; and i guess it's pretty wrong. i feel that if i had a kid though, i think i could bring myself to ever hit him/her! it's not right, my dad would hit me, and i remember feeling completely alone and unloved so i think parents hitting their children to make a point or to discipline is messed up.

 

there was no harm inflicted on my psyche or whatnot by hitting
I never really did the teenage 'acting out just to act out thing' either, if anything, because I respected my mum
I do think part of the reason is because I still respected her ability to beat the shit out of me when I was younger =P (not really, but she did spank me pretty bad a few times)

I also think girls and boys respond different from hitting
where as neither me or my brother seemed emotionally bothered by it
it did seem to bother my sister a bit deeper than physically...


that being said, I think in most cases any mental or emotional ill-effects of hitting (especially long term ones) are overrated but I do think they happen in some cases
and I think that it's more of a risk than anything

if/when I have kids, I am going to try the violence-free approach
if it doesn't work out for me, we'll see...

 

Well this is just one of the reason why I am so happy I am not born in Us. To spank your child is not teaching them to respect it teaches them to fear. Dont think you have so much to argue with me about that since american children arent the best exempel on succesful teen/adults.