you're a moron, and you cannot find a bottle opener anywhere. how the hell would you open a bottle? (er, this isn't a rhetorical question. i need an answer...hehehe)
ok then, i won't prattle on with pointless philosophy. use the edge of a counter and pry off the bottlecap.
hmmm...my neighbor isn't home. we don't have anything to drink but soymilk and beer. i was gonna have a beer, but i cannot find the damn bottle opener. rofl, i'm such a tard. have tried to pry the lid off, no success yet, but i'll keep trying. wow, this a high point in my day.
I would use a lighter first cup your one hand around most of the cap, thenplace the edge of the bottom of a lighter underneath the cap and use the leverage to pop the cap off. *does not work with Zippos, Bics are best* its hard to explain without showing someone. If there was nolighter, i would simply smash the top off and drain the remaining beer through a coffee filter so as not to drink any broken glass. *note: i would really not do the second thing*
Just smash the bottle and lick up the mess. The little shards of glass make it like a game, or a maze, or a masochist's dream.
I saw in a movie once where a guy stuck the top of the bottle in his ass and opened it that way....may have been a cartoon tho.
shit, i'm not that thirsty. on a side note. my sister used to work in the medical records department of a large hospital. her favorite stories were always of the "guess what this guy stuck up his ass variety"...she was always telling stories about guys who stuck bottles and jars up their ass, and then had to come to the er to get them removed.
Go to any flat sureface with a 90 degree edge (like a desk), place the cap on the edge, and bang it with something (you can use your hand, but that might hurt). The lighter also works. Teeth also work, I wouldn't do it though, you might accidently injure your gums.
i tried the countertop thing, and succeeded in nothing but scratching up the cheap counter, lol. have i ever mentioned what a weakling i am? i dug around in my husband's stuff and found a swiss army knife with a bottle opener. finally sweet success. i am enjoying my well earned corona, as we speak. thanks for humoring me, everyone
How the hell would you explain that?? "I had this urge to stick a bottle up my ass, but then it wouldnt come out" Man that must be embarrasing. Almost as bad as sticking your dick in a bottle and getting it stuck.
magic- imagine the car ride to the hospital. you couldn't sit down, you'd have to lie face down in the backseat. and what the hell would you wear to the hospital?
this reminds me that at our wedding the only person who had thought to bring a bottle opener was the mentaly challenged person. who after opening one bottle of martinelle's wanted it back! =^^= .../\...
ahahaha. whatever you do, it's not gona hide that bottle stickin out your ass. imagine the looks that would get. poor guy.
