Here are some new poems. Please read them and tell me what you think and how I could improve. Untitled She doesn't want to break his heart But he already has She doesn't want him to get hurt But he's already hurt her She doesn't want to But he already has ~She is me~ ______________________________ One Cut One cut is all it'll take to make her feel better. Well that one cut, was a big mistake. That little voice inside her head told her just one more. Just one more too many times because she almost wound up dead. ~She is me~ ______________________________ Obsession The pain is still here, as she looks at her wrist. She can hide it, but she can't resist. People notice the marks, and another lie is told. She is filled with shame, but the looks never get old. They expect the best from her, for her to be perfect. Well this is as perfect as it gets, and this is all you should expect. She can hide the marks all she wants, but underneath lies the pain. She can avoid the mirror all she wants, but her view will always remain. Sonly did it once, and it became her obsession. Only one cut, to escape her depression. ~She is me~ _________________________________ So what did you think? I'll try to write a happy poem...sorry all mine are dedepressing.
its ok that they r all depressing...most of mine are that way too...they are all kinda good...um untitled culd use some work...think about the pain he put u thru and how ull escape it and add that too it...for example: hes made me obsessed with taking it removing the pain from my stained soul but the only way i can escape this and prevent it again is to erase him as he sleeps i know what i must do i slowly tiptoe toward him with the silver blade clasped in my fingers, slowly i slit his perfectly curved throat cutting of his airway as he takes his last breath a smile slivers over my lips and a laugh wells in my hungry soul for i know that the pain hes given is gone for good.
Oh My God...I love your poem!!! I've always love dark depressing poems...I always seemed to think they hed more feeling in them. Any idea on what to call untitled? I have too many poems that doen't have names...
um...untitled can be called the kind of love that kills...but thats a suggestion...something like that would work
