What's the wackiest thing you had up your ass Ladies or Gentlemen ?

What's the weirdist thing you or someone else shoved up your ass while fooling around.

Ladies you first !!!!!!!

 

hmmmm....maybe a banana but we were just fooling around

 

the back of a brush
toothpaste tube
shampoo bottle
thick toothbrush

 

You mentioned fooling around so I had a girlfriend who was going to do me with a strap-on. She kind of got carried away because once the head went into me she immediately thrust its entire length up my ass. It is kind of funny that it happened that way, looking back on it now.

 

ouch...

 

When I was 16 I hung out with a kid who's mom was pretty sexy. She used to flirt with my friends and I constantly, buy us beer, etc. One time I spent the night at my friend's house and he had to go to work early in the morning and left me at the house by myself so I decided to go sift through his mom's panty drawer. I was originally just going to try on some of her panties when I came across her vibrator. Needless to say, 5 minutes later I was masturbating in a pair of her lace panties while shoving her vibrator in me. I came all over her panties and put them back in the drawer. The thought of her later wearing the panties that I had soiled was a huge turn-on.

 

^niceness

 

My wife's had a Michelob bottle, Zucchini, cucumber, numerous dildoes, butt plugs, Popsicle, My Cock, tongue, and five fingers up to the last set of knuckles.

And she's still tight.

 

A microphone hooked up to a 300 watt amp after I ate Taco Bell.

...You can see where this is going.

 

sharpie or candle

oh yeah, and that one time a plunger handle
and also a bottle with a condom on it once :tongue:

 

ewww

 

to which?

the plunger was a bad idea
hurt a lot
same with the bottle
those were when I was young(er) and confused(er) :tongue:
I don't typically shove anything up my ass these days

 

Ahahahaha! You freaks!!

 

LMAO!

 

How the hell can I get my fist up my wife's ass.

Any good techniques out there? I get up to the last set of knuckles and that's about it. She keeps backing up for more but I can't break through.

 

same with me, i cant get past my knuckles on me. I want to SOOO bad. Its impossible i think

 

I like to have "M" wear a nice fat butt plug when she goes shopping or other public places.

 

A good fisting is what she wants, huh???

Lots of lube and just take your time while working at it. Put 3 or 4 pillows under her belly and spread those legs wide. Be sure and trim your nails, there guys. You'll finally make the 'break thru' and she is gonna love it when you do.

While that ass is in the air is a great time to get in a little spanking action, too.

Now a days, "M" automaticly bends over when I reach for the ping pong paddle.

 

.

 

The wackiest thing I've had up there is half of a bowling pin. I aquired this object a few years ago and one day when I was having a session and wanted something a little bit bigger than what I was used to, I grabbed the bowling pin and put a condom over it. I slowly worked it in and rode it for a while, snapped a couple of pics and I was done. It was a novelty.