After The Rain Why did u fall away the cold I felt that day my spirit frozen in time losing my grip losing my mind can't find you can't break though no passage though this looking glass but i'll reach out 'till the last this vibration is no deception it's the missing fragment I see within you the truth's reflection as the moon begins ascent once I was lost in now I've begun again the wind of change shall bring a new day as we transcend deception and believe these reflections that we've ignored for to long 'cause it is and yes it shall be I can't say how long you've saved me nothing can replace the touch of you I've opened my eyes and seen the light no stopping me this time the light shall shine the time has come it is the moment we arive and ignite what was begun in those days waiting for rain once the song was left unsung look behind you at the sunset look from where we both begun in awakening heard the drums looking to the stars for hours as our spirits became one looking for a sign above as the leonids begun two flames eternal dancing descended from the morning sun lost I was until you found me lost until we became one tho I've never held you waking together always we have been our spirit chords resonating our forever never ends love eternal is the answer sent across both space and time joined together, heart and head in the pre forming of mankind body, life, spirit and mind all a circle spinnig a serpent coil spark of the devine double helix male and female rise form the abyss...leap across the great devidel two twin flames eternal burning ilumnating the dark with light twined side to side and we shall ride.....ride my love...we have come .......After the rain.........
Go for the jugular next time - you people crack me up when you write stuff like That's really nice Tripp. You made it really pretty to look at, as well as to read. Its like saying - erm it was so mediocre I cant be arsed to give you useful advice tyo make it better my opinion is its all too sweet and mushy and actually doesnt say very much that we havent read a million times in a million different poems - try to get a new take on stuff it isnt hard to do its just a mushy image that is as sweet as birthday cake make it a little more abrasive like love really is maybe these poems by Alexander Blok might help http://max.mmlc.northwestern.edu/%7Emdenner/Demo/poetpage/blok.html Oh, yes, love is free as a bird," But all the same I am yours! And all the same I will dream Of your figure, all aflame! The ravening strength of your fine hands, Your eyes saddened by betrayal Are all the madness of my vain passion, Are all my nights, Carmen! Of you I will sing to the sky Of your voice I will sing! Like a priest, with the stars as witness, I will perform your rite of fire! You will rise like a stormy wave In the river of my poems, And I will never wash my hands Of your perfume, Carmen... And in the still of night, ablaze Like a momentary flame, I'll see the flash of your white teeth And your persistent face. How I am haunted by the sweet hope That you, in a foreign land, That you will find a moment For secret thoughts of me. Beyond life's storm, beyond the cares, Beyond the sorrow of all betrayals, - May this solemn thought arise, Simple and white, like a road, Like a long road, Carmen!
If this is something you wrote below, you don't deserve the praise I would be willing to give you Mr. Macdonald for it because you are a foul person. This forum is for poets, not hot tempered blabermouths who go on about how great famous poets are and neglect the simple humble efforts of others. I would like to go for your jugular, but it wouldn't be worth my effort. Why don't you go fuck a cow on your fucking Ronald MacDonald farm you prig. Oh, yes, love is free as a bird," But all the same I am yours! And all the same I will dream Of your figure, all aflame! The ravening strength of your fine hands, Your eyes saddened by betrayal Are all the madness of my vain passion, Are all my nights, Carmen! Of you I will sing to the sky Of your voice I will sing! Like a priest, with the stars as witness, I will perform your rite of fire! You will rise like a stormy wave In the river of my poems, And I will never wash my hands Of your perfume, Carmen... And in the still of night, ablaze Like a momentary flame, I'll see the flash of your white teeth And your persistent face. How I am haunted by the sweet hope That you, in a foreign land, That you will find a moment For secret thoughts of me. Beyond life's storm, beyond the cares, Beyond the sorrow of all betrayals, - May this solemn thought arise, Simple and white, like a road, Like a long road, Carmen!
Hmmm excellent poem but my advice is to just start reading poets other poets as the sentiment is there but this is like some junior school kids first "fuck you" kinda poem - Youre 35 now and I cant believe you never had a verbal karate chop in the balls yet ! well believe me I am not below giving some snotty pig farmer from Arkinsaw or wherever youre from a good verbal whack in the nads
You believe whatever you like. Give yourself some creative criticism. Worry about your own life, don't go annalysing me. Kick yourself for being such a know it all bastard. I am not Tripp. I don't know where you got that idea from. I just posted some encouragment to someone that showed promise. I have always avoided fights. You seem to like to provoke them.
Actually if you werent completely stoned all the time so much that you could open your eyes you would have seen that Alexander Blok wrote that poem - i posted he was a russian poet at the time of the revolution and was probably the poet on which Dr Zhivago was based on but theres some dispute about that - he writes love poems - I do not I advocate that if someone cant deal with my sense of humour and gets all serious I go for the nads now be quiet and sit down you are making yourself look a spectacle you little dipstic slap spank slap whack crack smack swoosh-slap there thats enougth of a bitchsl;apping for you little fella now dont come back here or I'll have to glue your ass to a yak and send it running
LOL. Trekker's a nice dude, Ronnie. He's probably not used to your acidic wit. Yet. Can I ask what the good points of the poem were? (apart from the shape of the printed words).
truly is an honor to invoke such feverent emotions with a poem.....seems as if the jugular was gone for...so to speak..seriously tho thank you for your honest critique of the poem...altho not in depth i will recall to "go for trhe jugular" in a love poem next time.....awwww surely I jest....but i regress...I would like to hear tho if some of you see good/or bad points to this poem....after all I posted to get feed back...not to stroke my already huge ego..... Love and light ~Tripp
its a good poem and I loved that post by Ronald Maccydee where he bitchslapped someone - must use that myself - rad dude ronnie - you are the coolest !
