So I have been sort of seeing this guy for about a month. I've had a crush on him for a little while now....I'd say about seven or eight months. Well, we've been physical for the last couple of weeks. Everything seemed to really be going well! We were having fun, doing stuff together when our schedules allowed, he came to my work to visit me on my lunch breaks, he would let me lay on his shoulder and he would stroke my hair...basically it was really great! Suddenly, tonight, after he takes me out to dinner, we're cuddling and he says "I have something to say." He proceeds to tell me that he wants to cut out the physical part...I was kind of stunned, so I reply very simply with an "OK"...and I continue laying on his shoulder, not really thinking anything of it. "So.......that's all you have to say?" He asks after about two or three minutes of silence. "Well, what do you want me to say?" I ask. "You don't want to do it anymore and I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable." "It's not that it makes me uncomfortable," he says. "I just can't have sex with just anyone and not begin to have feelings for them. And I'm just not ready for those kinds of feelings right now." Granted, he hasn't had sex in over a year and a half before a couple of weeks ago... I guess it just sort of hurts my feelings that it took him six or seven times to come to the conclusion that he doesn't want to be physical anymore. I admitted to him I've had feelings for him for a long time, but I don't let that get in my way of just enjoying my time with him and having fun. After a few minutes I just couldn't stand the awkwardness and I had to leave his house. I just don't know how you go from LITERALLY one day stroking someone's hair and practically begging them to BE physical with you to not wanting to be physical at all. I just do not understand. I feel like I shouldn't reapproach this situation, but at the same time, it really bothers me and I feel like I deserve an explaination. What do you all think? Any good advice or opinions? Anything is appreciated.
he probably coulda really used the physical side and once he started to feel emotional too - decided it was too emotionally risky just wait it out see what happens I guess
Maybe he didn't want to get too emotionally attached? Coz you're moving away. So it would kinda make sense. Maybe he just freaked out?
yeah he said he didn't want to get "those fellings". and he apparantly started getting feelings and decided they weren't for him at this time.and as far as the 6 or 7 times everyone likes to fuck so it may have taken him 6 or 7 times to realize he was getting feelings for you.
It does sound like he got scared & wants to back off now. Was his last relationship a bad one - or was he hurt in some way from it? If you've got more than a physical attraction to him... I think I'd try waiting it out. Sounds to me like he's falling for you, but scared of being hurt. ((((((hugs!!!)))))) love, mom
I had the same thing happen to me about two months ago. Guys are awful with the whole "feelings" thing. Physical feelings, hey, they love it, but emotional feelings? No way! It all has to do with the fact that men and women think differently about sex. In general, women like the emotion and men just like the bangin'. At least that is what I have seen and heard.
What you need to do is back off hard. Cut contact to a bare minimum. He will soon be realizing how much your time together means to him.
i disagree haid giving him nothing will get you nothing give him what he asks for, cut out the physical for now..just let everything else be as it is, his fceelings wont change but he'll feel less pressured & have more time to explore them in time he'll realize what he wants, get horny again & everything will return to normal
I think that's cool but confusing. I've never experienced a guy saying that to me personally, but I think it shows that he is caring and thinks about the future not just the moment. I'd give a little space but still be your wonderful self, he'll come back to the physical stuff in a few weeks or even sooner... I'm thinking. *thinks about this for awhile*
I'm really confused on what to do...should I act like nothing happened? Because in all honesty, I'm hurt. Do I call him? I don't know! Hell, I was even considering NOT going to California to give this thing a chance with him...now, I know I'm going to leave for sure.
and I thought I was the only person in the world going through crazy shit like this. My situation is different in that it is the guy that is going, however even when that came up I didn't consider stopping things...he obviously did...I just don't understand why, and in your case as well as mine, they can't just enjoy things as they develop and see where they go and try to work out solutions for bridges that have yet to be passed when they actually happen. I send you a whole load of hugs DancerAnnie and hope that it just ends up where it's meant to.
