Hidden Party, See Three AM Shadows

leave it scorpion the guys a twat that should have his head rammed up a bulldogs arse - as a beauty therapy ! and to give him something to write about that isnt pretentiously trying to be great like dirty dog's writing = erm I mean stephen kings

 

I am eclectic that Stephen King has finally come out of the closet. Not the gay closet BTW, I mean the famous person closet. This forum rocks!!!! We'll be able to "get" good advice now as well as "give" it.

 

I hope stephen will post one of his short stories here rather than puyblish it I mean at his age and with his status he cant be writing for the money anymore -

 

We have Heywood here trying to write, and then we have critics. You will note that I made a criticism, and that I was short and to the point, and not unsympathetic, and suggested some specific points for improvement.

Ronald, on the other hand, steps on it with both feet, and more or less calls the would-be author a shit in so many words.

I know from my own clumsy attempts that writing leaves the writer very vulnerable. So, criticize if you have to, but don't leave the writer feeling like a piece of shit. As for WS saying that Ronald appears to be witty and well read, I can't say that I've noticed that in any of his postings, even though he (Ronald) compliments me from time to time.

Now, the more often I deny being Stephen King, the more you wankers will believe that I am Stephen King. Just for the record, I've never met the man and I doubt that he'd be that impressed with my work.

 

I think Ron and I should be given a special Hipforum present for finding Stephen King. I think $5000 is a fair price just for the marketing value alone! Skip will make so much money out of this, he will be able to retire in Honolulu on a yacht with 50 good prostitutes. He'll be shooting his spuds all day. So come on old man, get your wallet out for the lads.

 

Its ok steve we wont blow your cover anymore - ok DirtyDog (wink wink) -
BTW I am very well read and highly educated but I choose not to be just another bourgeois **** thinking that the way to make everyone think you are intelligent is by mimicking intelligence and feigning it. I dont need to prove to you I am intelligent - I choose literary chaos and buffoonery as the way to say "why dont all you pseudo intellectualls please stop writing like you want to be taken seriiously in the academic world - my god you will all end up like my friend David Lodge who's work is acclaimed in academia but its a pile of old horse crap that 15 bulls shot their load over !
You just dont want to drink that in. The second I see someone writing "Her hand moved across the chiffon blah blah blah or if someone writes "Malcoomes eclecticism was an invitational stance to draw you in " is the minute I want to scream "Fuck you " and then kick the author in the face with my new power legs after drinking 14 cans of chocolate powerthirst

 

It could have been worse. We could have had Martin Amis in here, and then we would have been in the real shit.

 

So if you're educated, you shouldn't write like you're educated, because somehow writing like you're educated, even though you are educated, isn't being true to yourself.

 

ok so you got people who are genuine artists ok - absolute indisputable intellect. - now nothing is gonna stop that talent getting through. Books like catcher in the rye, Catch 22, This time Last Week, Pennies From Heaven, Hamlet, Death of A Salesman, the list goes on - Shakespeare, Wilde, Potter, Miller, Bouroughs, Ackroyd, Austen, Bradbuy etc etc etc etc

wel ya know all the famous ones - well too many people just wright the same old tosh time and time again with the same tired format - the novel isnt novel any more!
Everyone is so knackered that they take the news and turn that into a story - Its been done - death disaster love - yep its all been done - seriously everyone wants to be a writer but ya know - so few have the real talent to actually compose a decent story then sit down and put that story in a way that makes the reader think - yep I gotta keep reading ! thats all it takes - sorry but writing is either great or its shit and theres no in between - mediocrity is not an option.

But the real point I am making is that if writers set out to be taken seriously they usually sound like they swallowed a dictionary and rather than tell the story in a natural way they detract from the story because they are too spellbound by the words they use - so they make pathetic blunders such as too much description or not enough description. speech that characters dont sound natural using - stories that the writer really hasnt researched so they actually dont know what they are talking about - most aspiring sci fi writers do that.

Oscar Wilde said a true artist can make you feel any emotion.

Most writers who are aspiring dont make me feel any emotion thats the point - wheres the emotion spock !!????? I can read anything but mediocrity - mediocrity is the only sin of a writer !

I would prefer to take the piss out of mediocrity and the whole word prostitution game than take part in it - did you realise most publshed novelists are either academics or journalists? I dont play their game I dont prostitute my intelligence I built a business based on the creativity of my mind and to use it to write so people will tell me I am immensely clever is just alien to me - but I think that is the motivation of most mediocre writers

 

That is definitely the most I have ever heard you say at one time. You really should be saying things like this more, because this is the first time I've ever felt like you're trying to challenge people into writing real stories as opposed to just deriding them for no particular reason.

But I don't think it's always a matter of just sucking as much as it is some writers just not finding something they can speak about authentically, because with all the shit flying around in the media and the internet and the 'industry' it's often extremely difficult for people to know who they really are, or what they should be writing about. But it's not impossible for someone to write something good... I think that everyone has the potential to write something good... they just have to find out what they need to be writing about.

Anyway, thanks for the challenge and I'll have to see what I can do!

 

Ronald:
With few exceptions, such as William Burroughs or James Joyce, an author has to follow the rules of grammar and sentence construction if people are going to take him seriously. For example, you'll note that I do this, except in limited situations where I use some dialect because King's English won't get the mood across. (See my posting on Bundy execution in 'Naked Lunch Revisited'.)

If you still haven't found Burroughs's work, consult your local library. The librarian can help if you need to get a borrower's card.

 

I think we should all read How the Grinch stole Christmas first, and then tackle Burroughs. By the way. There's a lot of Burroughs in London. Southwark, Lambeth, Brent, Lewisham. You can't live in London without burroughs.

 

What you're saying is, London is overrun by homosexual junkies who occasionally murder their wives like Burroughs or Norman Mailer. That's not exactly a tourist advertisement, unless you're targeting the travelling homosexual junkie population. (Yes, there are probably travel agencies doing just that.)

Bottom line is, I can think of other places to visit.

 

does anything ever shut you the fuck up DD? all you do is attack people that happen to think your writing is great but sometimes just sometimes I cant see the greatness of the work for the dickhead thats written it !

 

Amen.

 

Ronald:
I am truly sorry. How can a worthless piece of crap like myself dare to address worthy gentlemen such as yourself? It boggles the mind. Especially, daring to insult a "well read, witty" gentleman like Ronald MacDonald! All I can say is, I'm terribly ashamed of myself, and it will never happen again!
SMGOL (splitting my guts out laughing)

 

I ate a nice but expensive sandwich at borough market.

 

Good for you.

 

DD is a total **** that hasnt "come out yet " but probably writes pervy hetro stories to cover up the fact that really he is bilingual ! and I do mean he is probly a batty !