Have I gone for the wrong man? What should I do? HELP!!!

First of all thanks for taking your time to read and help with my situation.
I'm 15 and I have a best friend who I've known over 5 months now. Over these 5 months i've gotten to know her brother quite a bit. Even though hes 19 i really had a big crush on him. I thought I knew him quite well... i didnt exactly know his fav colour or anything like that but we had a few good conversations. One night I stopped at my best friends house. That night her brother came home with his friend and we decided to watch Grudge 2 in the living room because we were bored and wasnt ready for bed yet.. so I sat on the sofa with my friends brother and she sat on the other sofa with her brothers friend. While we were watching the film he seemed to get closer and closer to me, which was fine because afterall i did like him. It started out fine we were holding hands under the pillow and just watching the film. But then my mate and his mate went outside for a ciggerette and that was when he told me he liked me.. I didnt say much because I was in shock.. I couldnt believe it becasue i really liked him and I havent really had a boyfriend in ages. Then my friend and his friend came back in so we started watching the film again, only this time he had his hand moving up under my top and was squeeziing my leg and rubbing it and stuff... I wasnt too bothered about the leg part it was when he put his hand under my top that felt uncomfortable... i pulled his hand away and he put it back down.. by this time my friend and his friend said they needed to go have another cigerette so they went out... and that was when he said you dont like me touching you do you? are you shy?? i just replied with im trying to watch the film and i looked at him and he said kiss me. I kissed him and he said kiss me again so i did.. he said it again but i said no i want to see the film and ive done it twice already. So my friend and his friend came back into the room then because the were done smoking so we started the film again... her brother started feeling me up again and i was trying my best to show that him touching me annoyed me but he continued. Finally he moved down on the floor to lay down and i was still onn the sofa so we held hands over the sofa... if you get me?


Please help me i need some advice becasue hes asked me out and i do like him and ive had a crush on him ever since i saw him but hes 19 im 15 and i think hes moving too fast... should i tell him no because of the age difference or should i tell him hes moving too fast and if he agrees to slow down meet him? or am i just being stupid and he wasnt moving too fast at all? Please help I dont know what to do...

 

Well honestly he was horney and he thought u were hot enough to try and bone. odds are thats what he was thinking he might like u but do u really think he wants to date a 15 year old that cant go to clubs and pubs? u can proll yhave sex with him but thats pretty much all its ever going to be. sorry

 

Okay woah!

First of all, AND THIS IS REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT:::

if a guy (or anyone) EVER touches you in a way you don't want...you have to be VERY FIRM AND SAY "NO". It's not a conversation, it's not 'trying to give him a hint', it's not trying to not piss him off. It's as simple as saying NO. It might be hard to do but you HAVE to. It's your body and it doesn't matter how big a crush you have, it's YOUR right to say how and who with you want to be sexual. YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THIS. It's just not right at all for him to be touching you in a way you don't like, and YOU MUST TELL HIM. Otherwise it is SEXUAL ASSAULT and that's how people (girls especially) get taken advantage of / molested / or even raped. This is not a game, it is SERIOUS. If you don't like it SAY NO, and MAKE IT CLEAR THAT IT MEANS NO.

As for what next....

Firstly, if he doesn't stop when you say no, even ONCE, GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM. That's all there is to it.

However if he's a good boy and stops....then you might have a boyfriend there. But remember that you ARE younger than him, and so don't let him take advantage of you at all. I'm not saying he would, but BE CAREFUL. And after that...hang out, have fun together, do stuff you both like!!

Don't think you've necesserally 'chosen the wrong guy'. it's possible he simply didn't realise you weren't comfortable with him touching you like that so you MUST make it clear to him. But as he is older and obviously comfortable being sexual then you have to make it clear to him where your limits are and make sure he respects them. And don't do anything if you don't feel safe with him!

 

thanks sooo much youve helped alot xx

 

great advise!

 

I don't know what the laws are there but here you are jail bait. Right there should tell you he is too old for you.


It's great having a crush on an older guy but not if he takes advantage of you. Seems to me if he cared about you he would have asked you out first and tried to feel you up second. There is a big difference in age between 19 and 15. That difference goes away as we mature but during the teen years its the difference between an adolescent and an adult. I think you should steer clear of this guy.

 

i just think you need to communicate better to him (communication is always a problem, and its sometimes hard to communicate but it helps get the point across) because at 15 you are still scratching the surface of your sexual experiences. "feeling up" is a new experience and probably a little shocking to you. But at 19, and the fact that hes male means his hormones are ragin and he obviously is attracted to you so he is trying to get some tail. The part that i dont like is the fact that he keeps nagging you when you repetedly tell him to stop. THAT IS A BAD SIGN. I would give him another chance because you have feelings for him, but i wouldnt trust this dude that much yet. From the sound of it, he unfortunately just wants to get some tail but i could be wrong as i dont fully understand your exact situation, and his. Listen to your heart though. If you are uncomfortable with anything just stop. And if you want something then go for it