sex and "I love you"s

thanks, I wish some more people with some varying opinions would come in here..

 

it is funny to see how weight you put onto words when you say they are not important at all.. so i guess that now you just answered your own question as how important it is for you to tell her you love her or not. And do not forget that i didnt say that you are scared only but also damn calculated and that you dont want to engage yourself in this relationship because you do not consider it as serious so you dont want to give her the idea that it is serious.. you said it yourself.

Since when am i supposed to be an open minded accepting people!!???
And nobody told you your girlfirend has doubts but that unlæess you spit it out she can tbe sure at all.
You dont need her to tell you, because you dont give a shit wether she loves you or not as long as you can do your stuff and she does hers on you.
And if you feel so good about htings being as they are why did you open a thread at all asking other people if you should change your ways and tell her that you love her or not??!

Funny you called this thread " sex and I love you" that says it all.

So maybe you just want to fuck her and maybe then you will say i love you and go your way.

 

you are forgetting his reasons why.. to dont get serious cause he dont want the relationship to be serious.. but the girl dont knows it. Not saying it doesnt make him more genuate, he is just letting planing the doubt, that way he can go saying i didnt promised you anything.
But you are 17, so i understand..

 

I almost responded to these
how could I forget that to you, I am just trying to get into her pants?
why would you want to speak to me?

fuck you.
please stop posting in this thread

 

I'm sorry. I thought I was the one who knew both him and his girlfriend. Oh wait I am.
And don't undermine me because you're older. You stupid fucking bitch. I dont even know how you have the fucking guts to pass judgement on anybody what with the state of your typing.

 

ok my advice probably doesnt mean much me only being 15 but ive recently gone thru the same thing as ur going thru kind of...

well me & my on-agian off-again boyfriend both have declared our love for each other i guess about 3 months ago after we had been going out for almost 4 months...we had talked about having sex but wen i said that i wasnt ready he was perfectly ok with that saying that he knew i loved him and that he wasnt ready for sex until i was.

if u love ur girlfriend so much just tell her. If she feels pressured to have sex becuase of that just reassure her u arent ready to do anything she isnt ready to do and ull make that step together wen u both feel ur ready for that type of commitment.

 

how was that the same thing at all? =S

your age has nothing to do with the irrelevance of this post

 

It is odd how so many people are giving this guy grief for loving his girlfriend but not sure whither or not to say it because he is afraid it will change their relationship. I don't see it having anything to do with sex. He just seems to understand that saying "I love you" can change the way people act. I love you isn't something that should be taken lightly.

 

yeah, the sex part is just about that's the level of commitment I feel warrants the 'I love you's and what not
I was hoping you would come back and rescue me again =P

 

No problem

 

whatever, will youat least listen to this bit that i wrote earlier?

no its not a hard and fast rule for all women, but a generality for most people. most of us want to be loved, and theres nothing wrong with telling someone that you love them

 

I feel it but not at the extreme levels that "I love you" would imply
saying something for the sake of saying it is quite silly when it is not communicating what you want to communicate

 

if you love her then tell her.
if you are scared she will think its a big deal or you are pressuring her then dont think about saying it. just let it slip somewhere unusual. like your shopping and she does something relaly cute, laugh at her and say i love you.
she will think its coz you love her and you accidnetly told her.
then she wont feel pressured or that you said it without meaning it.


i dont really understand your issue. and i dont know if what i said made sense but its just stpid. love is love is love.

no good loving her and not telling her.

 

I don't do the plotted out-ness so well
feels too dishonest for me

and whether she will think it's a big deal or I'm pressuring her is not the problem, as I've said many times
it's the impact that it can have on the dynamics of a relationship adn your partner's psyche and whatnot

 

heres the question...do you love her?


I mean if you do its almosty like your lying not telling her that!

 

no...

lyinhg would be going "I certainly do not love you"

 

its called a lie of omission, some folk consider that to be lying.

i dont really get why you created a thread asking a question that you only want ot hear one answer to, but youre allowed to do such a thing

 

if i get banned for this it's ok, you have no knowledge of americans or american culture. according to you the only knowledge of americans you have are from american forums that you have been on for a year.so according to me you are no EXPERt. i canNOT even tell you how hard and incoherant your posts are to read.

 

I did not only want to hear one answer to it
at the time I created the thread I was confused, and would want any advice that would clarify the situation a bit for me
the situation was made clear to me, through every post that told me to say it being a post I disagreed with =P

 

I agree if you love her you should tell her. It sounds like she loves you too! Telling her that will not add pressure if she loves you too. It will only make her want to be with you more at least thats how it was for me And the whole sex issue its fine to wait for sex even after telling her that you love her. If you decide to wait for sex until both of you are ready after declaring your love for each other then that just shows how deep your love really is that it goes beyond the purely physical part of your realtionship. I tell my man that I love him so much all the time and he does the same and it has never any point caused an issue with have other issues yes but that is not one of them. And usally isn't for any couple with or with out sex in the picture.