I've been going out with my girlfriend for 8 months now. Something constantly holds me back from being 100% happy and I think I know what it is. I'll start from the beginning. A good friend of mine and his girlfriend broke up, they were dating for 6 months. It just didn't work out. They became casual for a few weeks. During these few weeks, We started to like each other, flirting constantly. I'm pretty sure by then the casual meets stopped, certain things stopped them from being able to get the time to see each other (distance, etc). So anyway, at her birthday party, we hooked up, mucked around a bit n stuff. One of my best mates suggested we have a threesome (me, the ex and my new friend). No one except me and her knew we liked each other, so I just said why the hell not? not actually being 100% positive on the idea, I just wanted to be with her that i didn't mind sharing i guess :S sounds rediculous but i was completely drunk, as was everyone else. So anyway, It sort of happened...he fucked her with me there as well, I'm not entirely sure of how far he went, but it definately wasn't for long (lololol) so I'm not 100% positive on the facts. But here's the thing. She KNEW I liked her (at least to my knowledge) yet she let him do it with me there reaching for the same goal. i'm not sure if what happened ended quickly because she didn't want him fucking her, or if he just doesn't last long, or if he pulled out so he didn't cum in her... so, this is why it's killing me. I love her so so much, I love her to bits. BUT I'm unable to work up the guts to confront this to her and ask questions. I'm afraid the answers I'm gonna get are all bad. But not talking about it hurts so much Do I need to talk over how I feel about a past mistake? what should I do? I feel lost...I think it's holding me back from getting closer to her. What makes it worse, is now she thinks i'm insecure when they're near each other. they are still friends, and still talk (not on the phone or anything, but at parties and stuff) but I don't think she realises that when she has a dnm with him or something about his current love life how much it hurts me to see them talking to each other about stuff, when I feel like I can't talk about everything to her (this being the only subject I can't bring up). I hate this pain, make it go away I'm misunderstood by her because I can't tell her why I'm truely insecure about them talking...someone help :\ anyway, I always look on the bright side of things, and I now know for a fact that I'm a better root. LOL!
Well you completely missed your chance to speak up at the time. Your excuse, you were too drunk. She was to. You really need to just put it behind you. See where the relationship could go with the girl. If it ends up being serious then drop the friend/ex out of your lives if that is what it will take.
but we haven't even talked about it! I think we should...The ex is one of my best friends tho, I can't just ditch him :S him by himself is awesome her by herself or with me is awesome both talking with me there, just as good both drunk having a dnm with me somewere else? not cool :S
Love and Sex are two things that do not always relate to each other. People do stupid stuff when they're not thinking right... If it's really bugging you that bad, then just get it off your chest and talk to her about it. Whatever happens, I think it'll be better than just keeping it in and living with doubt.
I agree with Mr. Berguh -- speak up! It's never too late. And anything is better than ruining both a friendship AND a relationship because you didn't want to talk.
