No sex drive and I feel ugly since having my baby

Since I had my baby 3 months ago I feel ugly and I have no sex drive. I feel like my life is over now that I'm a "MOM". That I should just go shop at JC Penney the rest of my life and buy mom pants and grandma shirts. I don't even care if I wear grandma panties! I'm 24 actually. I love my son. But I don't feel the same. I don't feel as attractive because I feel that men don't find women with children attractive. Plus I'm still 20 pounds heavier than I was before my pregnancy. And I don't want to have sex. I hate sex. Is this normal?

 

don't worry. it's pretty normal. happened to me BOTH times. my youngest is 19mo now, and i'm just now getting it back. but i spent both pregnancies on bed rest. i'm still up 50 pounds and just now getting into shape. but i also had post partum depression. what you have sounds a bit more normal.

 

do you think that you may have a touch of PPD? It can come up any time after having your baby and last for months or even a few years. It affects everyone differently. But I would say that you should go talk to your doctor or midwife about how you're feeling and get some help. It's prefectly normal, though, no worries. You just had a baby, and your body is never going to be what it was before. It's really hard to accept right now, but it gets easier with time. I gained 70 pounds with my daughter (went from about 120/130 to almost 200), and I just couldn't loose anymore after 170. It's been tough to accept, especially with family all around me telling me how huge and awful I look....grrrr....but that's another issue.
As for men liking you, etc, don't worry about that. There are plenty of men out there who find women with children attractive. I go to a college full of young, single moms and many of them have no problem finding men. Granted, there's the guys who are going to steer away, but really, most of the time they're too immature anyway.
Your role in life has changed, though, and that's going to take some getting used to. Having a baby can be a real wake up call, no matter how you try to prepare for it. I remember not being able to look at myself naked because I felt dirty, since I was a mom now. I'm still trying to get over the whole sex thing, but it's getting easier with time. Things aren't the same as they were before, but they never will be again. Look at this as a new time to get to know your new body. Don't critsize or demean it, just get to know it again. As for the clothes...yeah, the "in style" crap isn't going to fit as well as it did before, since it's designed for girls who have no curves in all the places most moms do. I had a hard time accepting that, too...but you'll find things that fit right.
One last thing I wanted to stress is that it takes your body 2 YEARS to recover from giving birth. So just be patient. You just had your baby, it really hasn't been that long at all. You will see it change over the next while. Just keep active and eat well, and like I said, just get to know your new body again.

 

because u are ugly! haha IM JUST KIDDING... MILFS are hott so dont worry about it. guys will still think your hott

 

Well, at least you have a child. I don't, frankly never want one, I keep protesting and anyway because of this my parents are really pissed off, because, as they say, I "must" have a child.
Well, anyway, I hope things will be fine with you. "This too shall pass." And I think guys will find you attractive with a child as well, there are many guys who love kids.

 

Very normal to feel that way, I know I certainly did!

Now, I don't feel that way at all. I feel like a sexy woman AND a mother. Just because I'm a mother doesn't mean I need to become all matronly. Uh-uh, no way! No mom pants and grandma shirts here. And, I tend to get quite a bit of attention from men when I go out, even with three kids in tow, which certainly makes my day! And my husband, well he thinks I'm one hot mama and makes it known. :H So yes, men do still find mothers sexy!

 

Oh, oh, oh.. that is a lot of bs, baby. Just because you had a baby, it doean't mean you are not sexy. So what if you are 20 pounds heavier than before.. HELLOW LOVE.. you just had a baby. How about the ones that is more than that in weight and had no children. Go for long walks pushing the baby, eat right, and enjoy the sexy woman that you are, love. Don't give up on thinking you can't get a man now that you have a baby, that is a bunch of bs too. I'll let you in on something.. I think women that are going to have a baby are beautiful, and even more sexy after.

 

It is all in your mind. Look at your baby and how beautiful your baby is, do you think such a beautiful thing can come out of an ugly individual? You are beautiful and weight has nothing to do with it.

 

Mommies put out!!!!

 

My good friend went through this after she had her daughter. She just waited it out, but if you think it is serious definitely talk to a professional.

 

i think you can get back to your normal life if you have the motive
you just need to put everything back together
take care of you Child and your Life and of course your Husband as well
you do everything you want you just need that motive
take a break for few days and start moving up mom

 

Your going to feel crap about sex though, your body have had to massively change in the past few months, of course your going to feel crap about sex, was your birth easy because that can effect sex drives, do you baby sleep through the night (or for more than a couple of hrs) are you feeding your baby yourself again that can effect you.

Maybe you and your partner should have a night for just yourselfs, if your feeding your baby yourself either express or get someone to look after him/her for a few hours, go out and buy yourself new pants and stuff, get a hair cut etc anything to make you feel better

 

You need some time with just you and your man. Have someone watch the little one and go out to a romantic dinner and a romantic after.. if you know what I mean?
You didn't change, love, you just had a baby, baby doll. I'm sure you're man thinks you are just as sexy as before.

 

here is a whole thread about this topic from the parenting forum:

http://hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=201947

 

You know, I was just reading these days an article in a Romanian magazine about a few readers who have given birth and then in 3 months returned back to normal with their figures. So... come on, you'll get rid of that weight you don't want.