I want to tell my parents

I'm 24 years old, soon to be 25. And I still have not told my familiy that I am probably going to end up with a wife, not a husband.

Years ago, I told all my close friends that I am bi, and by now my best friends know that what I really meant is that I like women better than men, period.

But, I have yet to even do the "I'm bi" thing with my parents. I keep thinking "I can't say it on the phone...has to be done in person". Right? Then, I'm home for a week.....and I wuss out, EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!!!! I wanna just fucking say it so bad, but something stops me every time. I'm not sure what.

I mean, my parents aren't exactly conservative. They are old hippes from back in the day actually lol. In a perfect world I guess I'd feel totally comfterable telling them all about it.
But things change, my older sister is mentally ill, and I've always been the "normal" one. I bring that up cause I think thats whats blocking ME moreso than them. I know in my heart that my parents would except me for who I am no matter what, and its something in me, and how comterable I am in my role in the family, that is blocking me from just saying it like I wish I had years ago. At least, I hope this is all true? not totally sure...

Its like, me and my mom? More like sisters than mother and daughter, really. I tell her everything...except that I like women. We are totally honest with each other, except I don't tell her that one thing. Outright lie? sometimes. But its usually more like glazing over the truth.

With my dad.....heh....I'd be more comfterable telling him I'm gay than telling him I"ve become a Christian, actually. He probably would have no problem with it. But then again who knows....bleh

I ALMOST told my sister last time I was home! Cause I'm foolish and still want an older sister I can talk to, SO bad. I was visiting for a week. But I started with "if I tell you something, can you keep it between us for now?" She FREAKED OUT!!! Said she didn't wanna know. I don't know what the hell she thought I was gonna say!!!! Probably thought I was gonna admit to being a hooker or something. I dunno. So I dropped it!
Cause I realized...even though she is my older sister, her mind is like that of a child still. It really sucks, and I wish I could change that, but that is just how it is. Every time I'm home, I try so hard to be friends with her, but I think I just have to except that even though she isn't unintelligent, she has the social capacity of a 6 year old. I wish this weren't true, but it just is and it sucks so much.

SO....I am like 95 percent sure my parents would be cool with me being gay. And I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO sick of lyng about it all the time!!! But every single fucking time I am DETERMINED to tell them "btw I'm into women" I ALWAYS, without fail, wuss out!!!!!!!

The lyng is getting to be like cancer. When my mom calls, say on sunday night after desperate housewives, and asks how I"m doing...I wish I could tell her about the woman I have a huge crush on. If it was a guy, I could. But since its not a guy...I just can't. I'm SO sick of this well not always lying, but just not sayign what I feel. If I had no parents this wouldn't be a problem, but I love my parents so much and want them to know about whats going on in my life. I want to be honest with them!

I am mostly venting, but also looking for advice a bit I guess? So my so-called liberal parents might not want to hear this from me, but I'm an adult now, hell I'm about to be 25 years old. I should tell them NOW, not later when I"m about to marry a woman. Any advice????????

I realize I'm pathetic for wating this long....

 

You're not being pathetic for waiting this long.

is there anyway you can bring it up in conversation? I know it's recommended to start talking about gay marriages and stuff like that. Also, if you're watching anything with a gay character in it, make a comment about it, see what they say and work from there. It's hard for me to give you any proper advice because I don 't know your parents and obviously, everyone is going to take it differently. So I hope this helps, even if only a little bit.

Good luck

 

By the way, I love the Angel reference...

I came out when I was 14, but my dad's gay too (I didn't know then). My friend came out to her mother at 36 (terrified all the while that her mother would reject her), and found it was all unfounded. What this meant is she lost 18 years of sharing her private life with her mom, who she considers her best friend.

I would suggest asking yourself what the worst possible outcome is. If you can live with it, then by all means come out. If you can't, don't.

Sometimes writing down what you want to say can help. However, the simpler you keep it, the simpler the situation is likely to be.

Good luck!

 

Do it. Just do it. You say you want to tell them, you don't have to fear rejection and you just can't bring yourself to do it. I felt the same before telling my mum (a year ago)... It's like jumping into a pool from a diving tower - at first you're scared to do it but once you climbed the ladder there's no turning back and once you've jumped down the next times are a lot easier and a lot more fun. If saying "Mum, I'm into women" is too difficult to say, start with "I've got something to tell you." It's easier to say and hopefully she won't let you chicken out again. Do it. Life is so much easier after coming out. Good luck and tell us how it went!