I was encouraged to repost my issue in this forum so please forgive the repost: I have a friend that uses pot and quite a bit as best I can tell. I don't use it and until now I could care less that he did. I am hoping to gain some insight into a situation that he and I ran into this weekend. Please understand that I don't wish to pass judgment against the drug or the users, but I need to understand what happened this weekend to our relationship. The friend and I went on a trip this weekend along with his roommate. When we got down the road the friend started to prepare his pipe. I told him that there wasn't going to be any smoking in my wife's car and certainly not while I was driving. He then said, no problem, let me drive. I told him that there was no chance I was going to let him smoke and drive my wife's car for the next 3 hours. He then started to get extremely irate and said that he knew this was going to be an issue before we left and that's why he wanted to take his car. I told him that we didn't have enough room in his car for the 3 of us and our stuff. I also told him that I would not let him drive me on the trip and smoke too. He became really enraged and started to yell quite a bit. He basically told me that I was passing judgment, that I sucked as a friend, that this was the reason why I had no friends and on and on. He cussed me out threatened me and truly crossed a line that he has never crossed before. We have been friends for nearly 25 years at this point (we are 35). He has only started using in the past 5 years or so. Until now I could care less about his usage. I think he smokes too much personally, but that's for him to deal with. He works as needed and makes a fantastic living as well as paying his bills and so on. He functions just fine. However for the first time he has made a decision and created a situation that wouldn't have been an issue for any other subject, but this one. He was willing to throw away a 25 year relationship if I didn't let him smoke in my car. Not only was I worried about my wife's reaction (which was not pleasant by the way) when she found out about it, but I was seriously concerned about the legal jeopardy I was being placed at. I could have been arrested for his usage in my car. His mere possession could have landed me in jail. And before anyone starts spouting off legal crap about how I wouldn't have gotten in trouble, let's throw something else in. I made a personal decision regarding my property and my welfare and he basically told me to go Fck myself. He could care less how I felt about it. I akin his actions to him deciding to jack off in my bed and then smoking in it afterwards. Even after I told him not too. Why would he disregard my personal feelings and desires and go against my wishes and do so at the risk of a 25 year relationship? As it stands I will likely never travel with him again and may decide at this point to disown him as a friend although I haven't actually reached that decision.
I dunno about the whole friendship thing but I think that's a pretty cunty thing for him to do. If it's your car, you make the rules. And besides, driving while intoxicated (on anything) is fucking lame. Even if he didn't drive, by smoking in your car he is putting YOU at risk of being fucked over by the police.
Hearing a story like this one tends to have some bias towards the speakers side of the argument. We also don't know if this one day was a special occasion (bad,stressful day) that had him already irritated and feeling the 'need' to smoke. First off lets get something straight, there is no physical addiction to marijuana. People might become accustomed to being high all the time, but you never feel the 'need' to smoke so I use that term loosly. From what I have read you were right. I completly understand that you didn't want him smoking in your wifes car while you were driving. He should have either blazed before leaving for the trip or brought the issue up before departure. I also understand you didn't want to be in the car with a driver under the influence. I have a few theories of why he may have flipped and said things he probably did not mean. -marijuana might not be the only drug he's using. If this is the case; try to get over the argument and get him help. -he already had an extremly stressful day and 'needed' to enter an altered state of reality to calm down. Since you prevented him from doing that, and he was already frustrated with his day then you may have received the unwarrented wrath of someone else's harm. -I hope this is not the case. He may have felt that way for a while and was waiting for a time to tell you. He may be trying to justify hurting you by saying you were a bad friend because you prevented him from smoking on the ride. This is incredibly imaginative because I don't see anyone with any intelligence doing this, but it's possible. Once again, from what I am told, I agree that he was wrong in the situation. I hope you guys can talk about it and figure out exactly what happened. Good luck and keep us posted on any new information regarding the incident.
I would've just pulled over, let him toke up in the bushes or something, and started driving again. Simple. I don't know the whole situation though and, either way, if you didn't want him smoking in the car, then he had no right to do so. But yeah, I would've just pulled over and let him do what he needed to do.
Welcome to the world of your typical stoner (although it's usually a snobby Liberal teenager who feels 'in touch with the real world' after buying from a black dude).
this is a case of either an immature man or else, someone whos smoking a lot of dope. if he cant go without for 3 fuckin hours then he is dilluded. i have a feeling this issue was a combination of him edging for a smoke, being irritated at you, your tone of voice when adressing his use (i recon a large part of it) what youd been talkin about, his relations with women (or men). but yeh most importantly: he is smoking too much; and also he was probably insulted in some way by the sort of words or tone of voice you used in responding to his marijuana-related acts (and even the way you were looking at him, he would have perhaps been paranoid about your gaze, that youre judging him)
Well this is my personal opinion: 1st: No matter how hard to try you cannot change another person, in fact if you try to change them they will just lash out more and not want to be around you because you are changing their identity. So don't go off and try to change your friend. 2nd: Honestly if I was in the same situation as your friend, I maybe would have gotten mad at you as well. Now I'm not saying you didn't have good reasons for backing up your thoughts and feelings about doing illegal substances while driving a vechile, its just that if I went on a longer type of trip and I would have thought I could smoke during the trip I would be quite excitied to smoke. Though if as I was packing the bowl somebody told me to stop, I would probably get mad. I feel that his anger was centered around you making rules at the last minute, and him having to sit there for 3 hrs without a fix. My opionion he is addicted, you cannot change him at all, just sit down and talk with him....which you'll probably need to do anyways after this confrentation you had with him. Next time, if there is a next time you should just let him do what he wants before the car ride...... You should explain to how it was your wifes car, which im sure you probably did. I dont know this could just be a reaction to him having a bad day or something, best luck.
Goood call StonerBill. He may have gotten mad at you as a defense mechanism. If he felt like you were looking down at him for smoking, then instead of being embarressed he got angry. Once again if this is true then you were completly right in the situation.
Actually, most statistical evidence points towards the majority of drug users being white, middle-upper class and, in the case of youth, prone to holding their habits hostage in return for some semblence of social identification.
