heartache& indignity over, now emptiness and despair

OK, I had a one sided deal going on for 3 months in which i allowed myself to be emotionally abused by a woman. Heres my question. Whats worse, going through the hell of heartache and loss of dignity or the emptiness and despair when you realise what happened , and that youve got to live with it. One thing helps i guess. In the end its pretty clear waht occured was very simply wrong and its not like I wasnt warned about it here and other places. So it helps not having to analyze and reanalyze the situation endlessly anymoree like Ive been doing for months. So, again, my question I guess is; Now that the real-time heartache and indignity is over, what to do about with the emptiness and despair thats left .? EDIT_This is a bitter pill to swallow. I've got some drinking to do.

 

The only thing you can do is wait, believe me. The emptiness and despair will gradually leave. Keep yourself busy and time will pass and you can look back on this as a learning experience.

As for which is worse,well I don't think they can be compared as there quite different feelings. The first heartaches and indignity is so intense, but the emptiness and despair is just slow burning, if you know what I mean. Anyway, time will heal.

 

Well, did you learn your lesson?

 

good point. hope so.if ur blown off dont go beggin for it -dont try and be friends to get back in-it doesnt work and its humiliating.let her come back, but if not, to hell with her. The only thing i havent figured out is at what point to quit trying or give up? what do you do after youre stood up once, i mean, people need a little slack- and how not to appear needy, but still try and get some. Then again, if a girl is interested and wants to be with you you it shouldnt be that hard to see her i guessEDIT- wait, youve got me thinkin-theres a billion lessons to be learned.just waht i need, more shit to analyze! :dupe:

 

gjg, you disappoint me. In another post you were just cursing women out of your mind. Even though we should all understand our diatribes are nothing but irrational ressentment, you should know: women don't deserve any slack. They get too much of that already.

 

another great point, but im not convinced about that one thing in my own mind. She doesnt show up, and most likely you are right, but if you have feelings, waht do you do. Let her say of her own volition why she didnt show? What if she doesnt mention it as if it was overlooked or something, but continues to show interest? Ask her why she didnt show? Shine it on and try and make one more attempt at another encounter and risk humiliation? Remember, at this point u are enamored and anxios to see her again. But youve got some very rational perspective and I like that.

 

hows about this lesson: sever all contact with someone who steals from you. sever all contact with someone who makes you feel worse than when you are not in contact with that person

 

Yes. youre right.but at what point ? at what point?? Remember, this is all uselesss infoprmation anyway as I will never have another girl in my life like this anyway, but im trying to analyze what heppened and learn something. I certainly wouldve severed all contact immidiatly if i knew for certain she stoled but wasnt entirely certain she stoled. 99% but not entirely. And...she vehemnetly denied it, but later i saw that she was good at lying that same way about other things so it fit the profile of a thief. All thieves are liars .the dcrazy thing is when you went to try and corner her on something like whether she was leading you on she would say something that could be ionterpreted in two diffrent ways; example. I asked her if she wanted to see me. She said, and I quote" maybe tommorow night...maybe a different night..I will let you know". At the time it looked like an insult, but i wasnt entirely certain. Now i know she meant to fck off.But everything she ever said to me could be interpreted in two ways-it was insane trying to figure it out at the time, but now its all plainly clear, and im convinced she did steal.

 

GJG you don't like women. plus you want to give your ex money for sex . How horrible is that.

Plus you wrote that nice horrible letter to her.

Think man!! it doesn't take 1 . It takes 2. your 48 yrs old i'm pretty sure you can paint a colourful picture of what to do and what not to do.

 

guys, thnx. i get the picture. i just spent the most wretched weekend of my existence, but im on the way now. I should never have emailed her again with that offer of money for sex. it just further degraded me, and i want you to know youre advice has been helpfull and appreciated. I didnt want to face the emptiness, so i held onto the humiliation for one last day, but as of now, on my honor, i move on.thanks again!

 

Glad to hear you're moving on! Listen, it's all dumb luck...you say she's unlike anyone you'll ever meet, but that's your perspective at the moment. Time makes your perspective switch. You could meet someone else, you know?

Don't listen to the peanut-brained posters here saying you don't like women. It is obvious to anyone who's capable of more than the basest linear thought that your ressentment derives from precisely a huge passion for women (like mine). And that unfortunately that passion was not consummated.

Anyways, I also think you should ask yourself whether subconsciously you weren't looking to be taken advantage of, and if your insecurities didn't play a role in that.

Good luck, and let me know how you're hanging on. I'm interested to know.

 

move on get over it

 

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah! I also think, aside from the gaping communication chasm GENERALLY separating the genders...

Women are quickly losing (if they haven't already lost) the capacity to empathize with men....

mlee27 --- you're a loser and I would never date a girl like you!!! lol.

 

the truth is that the op really just needs to sever contact with the ex and find a way to alow himself to move on rathe rthan continuing this torture, this chosen form of punishment... and someoen saying that, saying that hte op needs to find a way to move on doesnt inherently make them a loser (lol.)

 

You sure you're not jumping to conclusions over just one little sentence from one woman who does not represent all women or even women in general?

 

Maybe he's jumping on that poster, but it would make sense if what he's saying is true.

But I wasn't around 100 years ago to see the difference.

 

The only thing that mlee said to the OP was "move on, get over it". Granted, it wasn't very empathetic and comforting, but it was sound advice because he really does need to move on and get over it. And if it was rather blunt, well so what? It doesn't mean that women are "quickly losing (if they haven't already lost) their capacity to empathize with men".

 

OH MY GOD!!!if we women talk too much we are called hens, if we are straight and to the point we get crybabys wondering why we women aren't empathetic to you sob, sob , sob men. in my experience why mull over the how comes and why me's, i chose to get over it and move on and guess what? it worked for me. secondly i am so fuckin sick of men who have been hurt by a few women misjudge every other woman they meet. ""all women are this and all women are that, how the hell can you make an assumption like that if you have only been with a small few of the female population?like is said MOVE IN AND GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

You Wouldn't Date A Girl Like Me Because I Wouldn't Let You. Trust Me I Would Date Your Avatar Picture Of The Monkey Before I Would Even Let You Near My Skin. And Anyways The Monkey's A Hell Of Alot Smarter Than You My Friend.

 

Am I the only one who feels a bit creeped out by fexurbis and gjg's posts?