there is this man called blair who is a fuckin square and married to a right fuckin mare her name is cherrie and she seems quite merry especially after drinkin two bottles of sherry........... his name is tony whatta fuckin phoney rides around all day on shanks pony......... he"s an arsewipe for bush and thinks he"s a bit of a mush but soon he"ll be gettin the push ....... he"s a complete and utter twat who does"nt even have a cat and quite frankly talks through his hat ..........he lives in number ten close to big ben and still cannot tell the time ...........he"s a thick fucker who"s off his rocker and to the country is a bit of a shocker .......soon be packin his bags and livin next door to mags ........bye bye tone time to get off that fuckin phone and go and watch home alone ..........if you travel through walford toe say hello to mo minty and co but dont go to slow cos ian beal will wanna steal your show ...........now do us all a favour blair get yer house next door to maggie twatcher sure you"ll make a good pair i swear ..................fuck off blair
ben..........their is a man called ben whos a lazy get and doesnt get up untill quarter t ten.........when he"s up he has a sup then fucks off back to bed again ........ i know i aint no pam ayres or wordsworth ..........but ime trying:H .............any poets around
There once was a guy called Paul, Every day he'd go down to the mall... He'd smoke some weed, get fucked on speed, Skin up over there by the wall. But alas one day, Paul went astray And got nicked by pigs on the way. They kicked him in the head so hard, It mushed his brains to tiny grains And then let him off with a... YELLOW CARD!
that gets a 7.....................sid.............there was a man called sid who was a bit of a kid and also into the skids .........he went to see them play live one day after he got his pay think it was sometime in may .......pogoed to into the valley seen a old friend called mally and soon again become very pally ......they pogoed the night away sid spent all his pay in that month of may waaaaaaaaayyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaa.
tim.........there is this man called tim who appears to be quite dim carnt even bloody swim .......tim met a girl called kim who went out on a limb to make tim a happy chappy the relationship did"nt last long as she showed him her thong only to discover tim wearing a nappy ........so now tims all alone sits by the phone and occasionally gives his dog a bone
matt................their is a man called matt who sometimes can be a complete twat loves cricket and has his own bat .............matt went into town one day and even took his cat and his pet rat what a complete twat .............matt likes sittin on his mat wearing his hat whilst eating bags of chips and gettin fat and thats the end of that .
There was a bloke called Dave, who went to a rave....... Got 'is 'ead stuck in a lathe and never forgave.... What a monkey spanner!
ben..........their was this bloke called ben everynight watched news at ten one day he invested in a hen .....he called the hen len and bought it a ken ......len thought ben was round the fuckin bend without the d then said to ben whats for me fuckin t........ben replied being wide eyed as he had just had some tenants super strengh lager.... what d"yer mean whats for yer tea get in yeer ken then we"ll see ..........he looked in the fridge then said to len would you like a chicken butty ........len told him to fuck off and said i aint no cannabill.... i"ll have what polly parrots having ......pass us the trill . am pissed
wally..........their is a fella called wally and quite often goes off his trolley ........just last week he bought a brolley skipped down the street shouting oh good golly ........he bumped into a lady called molly who was pushing a trolley and seemed quite jolly ......he said am awfully sorry do you fancy a cup of tea .......molly replied oh that would be awfully nicey .......so wally and molly went for a brew and ended up having a ........nuts oh hazel nut caburys takes them and they cover them in chocolate .:leaving:
There was a young lady called Jude Who liked to sunbathe in the nude In a tan she invested But it got her arrested & now she's locked up down in Bude
