afraid of getting serious or even married

I have this problem of blowing things out of porportion and ending things quick . ive been that way with almost every relationship. me and b/f been seeing each other for a little over a year now and its been great but there have been times where i ended it cause of one agrument but thankfully i have him to think things through before we really end it. im afraid of arguing cause i just jump to ending it which it doesnt have to come to that but i end it. im afraid of gettign married which i never want to because the first serious argument we have ill think of divorce- i always tend to blame myself for screw-ups and i want to stop thinking about ending relationships to solve the problem. i dont know if its a teenager stage or just an habit waiting to be broken but i need help to not be this way anymore

 

You're so young, I would not be too worried about not wanting to be serious or married. And honestly, even if you were older, I wouldn't be concerned about it. Some people are just meant NOT to get married...and that's OK. I never want to get married...and if I never have a serious relationship again, I don't think that I will be missing anything in my life.

I don't know why society makes women think that they have to settle down with one person forever...YOU DON'T HAVE TO! And I don't think that's an immature way of thinking at all. Some people are just not meant to...maybe when you are older and you find something worth settling down with...but if you never do, it's not a big deal...*shrugs* Just my two cents.

 

For my whole life basically, I've stressed that marriage is unnecessary and I didn't want to do it. For a long long time I thought that being with just one person for the rest of your life was... unnatural.

Here's the catch: I don't think so anymore. BUT I still think it's a very good and healthy thing to think. I was talking to a dear friend the other day about it, because it's been kind of a strange and surreal turn around for myself and my partner, ever since we decided to get married.

I honestly think that the most blissful, happy, lasting, long-term relationships are formed by two people who "don' want a long term commitment" but have the sense not to throw something away when it's really good.

Think about it... If you go through life looking for that guy you want to spend your life with, that one you want to marry, you'll have your blinders on and you won't see a lot of people.

When my partner and I got together we were heading in opposite directions - quite literally. It was supposed to be a fling, a one-night stand. But in the mornning when we were both still there and we couldn't stop talking because we had just so much in common (and I don't necessarily mean actual life experience, but the way we both think) We both had the sense to say, "Hey, this is a good thing. I could learn from this. Let's stay and see where it goes." And now, nearly 6 years later, we're still makig life more interesting for each other, and we're closer than ever before.

I'm not saying this is the case for all people, and I'm not saying your bf will provide this type of thing for you down the line. What I'm saying is that while it doesn't hurt to be wary you can still take a relationship one day at a time until one day you find you've made yourselves a nice little life together and then you can just sit back and revel for a while.

Excuse me now, I'm off to go revel.

 

wow im 26 and i am the same way i dont know why i am like that but sometimes i like to feel the pain of losing something great.

 

You're 17 - you have no need to even think about these things. If you find you get older and decide you'd like to be serious with someone, great. If not, that's fine too We don't have to paired up for life to be whole.

 

You're so young. Still in high school dealing with high school bullshit. You'll grow up. And when you're starting to think about jumping to the end of it all, just stop your brain for a sec and tell the other person to shut up for a minute and let you get your head back.

Besides, you have no reason to be thinking so far ahead, into divorce and marriage and all that. Relationships can be tough things, but arguments are something you'll have to get through. Just don't jump to conclusions and try to realize that everyone makes mistakes, not just you. The last thing you want to do is blame yourself for anything that goes wrong.