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snow rose

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by surfnaked, Sep 2, 2004.

  1. surfnaked

    surfnaked Member

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    surfnaked, Sep 2, 2004
    #1
  3. surfnaked

    surfnaked Member

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    surfnaked, Sep 3, 2004
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  5. littleskinny

    littleskinny Member

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    Don't be daft Surfnaked, just cos people haven't commented doesn't mean they don't like it....I for one hadn't got round to reading it yet. First thing I will say is that the font you have chosen, while adding flair and atmosphere to the piece is really hard to read, and that's probably put people off reading it...to be honest it would have done me if you hadn't replied so pitifully to yourself.



    The opening four lines are lovely - I like the bible stories being thrown up. This line really stands out though because it is quite hard-hitting, where none of the other lines are, even when you're describing the man "breaking her like a horse". I found the rhyming (especially too much of the "...owed" rhyme in "gold" and "flowed" and found the "fairy-tale" voice hard to read, but understand that it is integral to the story...I like the image of the rose in the snow, and the little moral is cute.
     
    littleskinny, Sep 3, 2004
    #3
  7. surfnaked

    surfnaked Member

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    surfnaked, Sep 3, 2004
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  9. surfnaked

    surfnaked Member

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    surfnaked, Sep 3, 2004
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  11. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    Maybe you should read what skinny said above...
     
    KittenX, Sep 3, 2004
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  13. surfnaked

    surfnaked Member

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    huh? what she said about what? i already changed the font...
     
    surfnaked, Sep 3, 2004
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  15. littleskinny

    littleskinny Member

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    Why have you been childish and deleted your thread? If you don't want people to comment, don't post.
     
    littleskinny, Sep 5, 2004
    #8
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